


Death's Dearest

by LovingAlex



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Castiel is a black widower, Death!Dean, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, For like two minutes, I Tried, I cant leave my boys sad, I'm Sorry Castiel, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Metatron (Supernatural) Being an Asshole, Minor Character Death, Murder, Murder Husbands, Mystery, POV Alternating, POV Castiel, Past minor character death, Serial Killer Castiel, Temporary Character Death, background Samleen, but it's set up to look like one, is he ever not?, just a bit, no one actually self harms, obviously, you know me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-07-11 20:28:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 21,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15979886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingAlex/pseuds/LovingAlex
Summary: He greeted Death like an old friend, or should I say, a current lover who prefers the name Dean.Castiel meets the embodiment of Death after killing his wife. And then again after killing someone else. And again. And again. They become closer with each passing visit, but there's consequences for loving Death. Literally.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so happy to be finally posting this! I’ve been working on it for so long~ I love the concept of Death!Dean, so I just had to write something. I’ll admit it’s gotten away from me and is the longest fic I’ve ever written. Hope you enjoy!

Castiel finds himself standing in front of a newly filled grave. Unlike a cliched movie scene or novel, the day is bright and the weather isn’t half bad. 

 

A man that Castiel has only met twice puts a comforting hand on his shoulder before departing. He doesn’t remember the man’s name, but that won’t really matter anymore. The last few mourning members of family depart the gravesite, leaving Cas to stare down at the gravestone in silence.

 

_ Here lies beloved wife, sister, and friend, Hannah Milton. _

 

“Another one bites the dust, huh?” an airy voice speaks up from beside him. A man stands to his right, wearing an old leather jacket, a plain T shirt, jeans, and combat boots. All a dismal color of black. The spiky haired man puts his left hand on Castiel’s far shoulder while his other hand rests on his own hip, it’s fingerless leather glove the same black colors as the rest of his ensemble. The man finally turns his head away from the grave to address Cas, waiting for a reply to his rhetorical question. 

 

“Why wait so long to appear this time?” Cas asks instead of providing an answer.

 

The man only snickers before crouching down to caress the tilled soil of the grave with the exposed fingers of his gloved hand. “Had to wait till the people were gone. You wouldn’t’ve been able to talk to me otherwise. Don’t want you to look like a basket case, now do we?” he says more to the dirt than to Cas. 

 

A moment of silence pass between them before Castiel speaks up once more. “I’ve been waiting for you since our last meeting. You sure took your time.”

 

The light haired man stands, dusting his hand off with the other and turning back to Castiel with a teasing quirk of his head. “Aw, is that why you keep killing people? Cause you miss me?” A flirtatious grin spreads across the man’s freckled face to accompany his childish tone.

 

“Well at least it’s easy for me to find patrons,” Cas huffs smuggly.

 

The man lets out a low chuckle, placing his arm back around Castiel’s shoulder. “I’m pretty sure being killed isn’t what they’re expecting when they go with you.”

 

Castiel’s gaze wanders upwards to the almost clear blue sky. “Hmm, maybe suitors is a better description?”

 

“Either way, it keeps me on my toes, and as long as I’m still your one true amans,” the man chuckles, rolling on the balls of his feet before playfully nudging him. 

 

Cas takes ahold of the other’s chin to make the man face him. He gives a quick peck on the freckled man’s lips before answering with, “never the least bit of doubt, dear.”

 

The man scrunches up his nose. “Ugh, no cutesy pet name.”

 

Castiel leans away from the man in black, raising a teasing brow and letting a smirk pull at one side of his mouth. “You call me your Angel all the time.”

 

A black boot kicks at the trampled green grass and the man drops his gaze to watch his feet. “That’s… different…”

 

“How so?”

 

The man begins to fiddle with the bottom hem of his jacket, then reaches into his front jeans pocket to grab an intricately designed watch that hangs at the end of a silver chain clipped to his belt loop. The polished silver shines in the sun, not unlike the reflective silver aviators that sit perched on the top of the man’s head. He checks the time and gives a dejected sigh.

 

“My times up, I gotta go.”

 

Cas slides a hand under the man’s jacket to hold him closer. “Must you? Can’t you stay for a little longer?” he pleads.

 

“I have to do my work, you know this.” The man slips his pocket watch away, caresses Castiel’s cheek with his ungloved hand, then places a reverent kiss to his unoccupied cheek before vanishing right out from under Castiel’s fingers.

 

Heaving a sullen sigh, Castiel turns away from the grave and heads for his car.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy that people enjoyed the first chapter! I look forward to reading everyone's thoughts on this one!

It’s been two days since the funeral of his late wife when there’s a knock at Castiel’s front door. 

 

Being in the middle of an intense scene of his book, Castiel groans in frustration. It was probably yet another neighbor or one of Hannah’s colleagues coming to give him condolences and some sort of pity food like a casserole. He’s already thrown away three of them, not even bothering to keep the glass containers. He may have not minded before, but has since grown sick and tired of them. This is one of the reasons he has made the habit of moving within a week of his spouses’ funerals. Cas mentally crosses his fingers that whoever’s at the door brought cookies or something else instead.

 

Donning on the face of one who just lost a lover, Cas answers the door.

 

“Mr. Milton? We’d like you to come with us,” one of the two visitors said in lieu of a greeting. 

 

Cops. Great. And here Castiel was, just wanting to get back to reading his book. 

 

“Am I under arrest?” he asks the two policemen, making sure to feign innocent curiosity and worry.

 

“No, but that’s an option if you resist,” the second one spoke up. Oh look, both of them have sticks up their asses. How lovely.

 

Giving a put upon sigh, Castiel turns away from them with a, “let me put on some shoes.” He makes sure to leave the door open so that they can watch him and know he wasn’t running. It only takes a moment for him to slip on his shoes from underneath the side table a few feet from the door.

 

Castiel grabs his house keys from their hook before locking up and following the gentlemen to their cruiser.

 

…

 

Once they get to the precinct, Castiel is immediately escorted to an interrogation room. The small room is practically identical to the ones in police shows. That is, other than the weird stain on the carpet next to his chair. He doesn’t even want to know what caused such a weird discoloration.

 

Castiel is made to wait almost a half hour before someone comes in to interrogate him. Judging from the pristine suit, shoes, and hairdo, the woman is FBI. She sets down a vanilla folder and sits down across from him.

 

“Your recently departed wife, Hannah Milton, died from head trauma due to a fall, correct?” she begins, politely folding her hands on the table in front of her. Castiel only nods his head in answer.

 

The woman opens the folder she brought and places six pictures in front of him: A driver's license picture of a bald, dark skinned man with a scowl; a social media picture of a blonde man shaking a drink behind a bar; a short haired brunette woman sprawled out on a living room floor crime scene; another brunette but with longer hair and a round face on an operation table with scrapes and bruises all over her shoulders, neck, and face; another social media picture of a shy, petite redhead at a soup kitchen; and a family picture of Hannah and her brother. “All six of your past spouses have died under suspicious circumstances, Mr. Milton. That’s an unfortunate trend there.”

 

After taking each picture in, Cas responds with a curt “Dying is an unfortunate trend, officer. I don’t know what you expect from me.”

 

“I know you’re still grieving, but I need you to be compliant and straight with me. I’m not saying that  _ you  _ killed them, but there  _ is _ a pattern here, Mr. Milton.”

 

Castiel leans forward and angles his head so that he’s looking at the agent through his lashes. “I’m sorry, but I don’t like to encourage unnecessary interrogations from people I don’t even know the name of,” Castiel leans back against his extremely uncomfortable chair to look down his nose at her, “Yet you seem to know a lot about me and my departed loved ones. You should also know that this subject is still a little painful to discuss so I’d rather not.”

 

The agent looks down at her folded hands, the muscle of her jaw jumping as she clenches her teeth. “My apologies for having to bring up such upsetting things. You may call me Agent Naomi, or just Agent. I’ve been put in charge of this case.”

 

Castiel gives a polite nod in greeting, “It’s nice to meet you, Agent Naomi. Now what, pray tell, is the real reason you brought me here, because I do believe that you suspect me of killing these people that I loved dearly.”

 

“Innocent until proven guilty, Mr. Milton. We are just exploring every option.” The agent means to continue, but is interrupted by another officer barging in. 

 

“Agent Naomi, you’re needed,” is all the frazzled looking man says before escorting the frustrated agent away.

 

And thus Castiel is left alone once again.

 

…

 

“Heyya, Cas. Whatcha doin’ here?”

 

Cas raises his head. He had laid it down on his arms, waiting for the agent to come back. It’s been quite a while. There, in the middle of the table, sits the leather clad man, his hands leaning on the table between his folded legs. Honestly, he has grown used to the man’s random appearances.

 

“Shouldn’t I be asking the same thing? Did someone die in the other room?” Cas snarks back.

 

The man lets out a laugh. “Nah, just double checking inventory down in the morgue. Reaper stationed here is a newbie.”

 

Castiel gives a thoughtful hum, “I would say that your situation is unfortunate, but you know I always love your company.”

 

The freckled man raises a nicely shaped eyebrow, “Shouldn't you be worried about your own 'situation’”

 

A low chuckle sounds from deep in Castiel’s throat and a wide and a guiltless smile spreads across his face. “I'll be fine. I'm innocent, remember?” 

 

The man just scoffs before checking his ever present pocket watch. “I have to go now, but I might be able to slip away tonight. Looking forward to a quality grease dinner.” He disappears and reappears by Castiel’s side within a blink, gives him a kiss on the cheek, then disappears for good.

 

…

 

On the other side of the glass, two cops stand in confusion. “Who the hell was he talking to?” the older one asks, their mug still paused halfway to their mouth.

 

“No clue… maybe he has imaginary friends? Can we arrest him for talking to invisible people?” the young one asks the first.

 

The first one huffs a laugh and finally takes a sip of their drink, “he flirts with the voices in his head… what is up with people nowadays?”

 

…

 

It’s another good ten minutes after the man in leather leaves that the FBI agent finally returns. She looks ruffled compared to when Cas last saw her. Her pristine brunette hair now has a few strands loose and she looks like she’s ready to strangle anyone who dares to even breathe wrongly in her direction.

 

When she turns her icy gaze to Castiel, he just raises an eyebrow and asks “What’s wrong, someone take the last jelly filled donut?”

 

If looks could kill (which Castiel has always thought would be a useful skill when it comes to  _ his _ particular hobbies) Cas would be a pile of ash. 

 

The muscle of the woman’s jaw twitches a few times before she eventually speaks. “Something has come up. And though I’m not happy about it since we didn’t get to talk much, you are free to go.” She even goes as far as to open the door for him and make a sweeping motion with her arm in an invitation to leave.

 

Castiel happily does so, bothering the person at the front desk until they provide cab fare before heading out. At long last, he’s able to go relax at home and finish his damn book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun lil game: Can you guess all of Castiel’s dead spouses in order? Make a guess in the comments!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new chapter! I'm actually way ahead and am super happy about it cause I was so worried I would fall behind and disappoint you guys! But no worries about that here! Hope you enjoy <3

The man is late.  He’s never late to anything. 

 

Cas has learned that this ultimately means that he’s either just not coming, or there was an unexpected incident that didn’t go as planned. He heaves a heavy and dejected sigh, sitting down at the already prepared dinner table to start eating  _ without  _ his date. He feels a bit jilted. He should be used to this by now, but knowing that it’s not the man’s fault doesn’t help the feeling Cas gets deep in his chest.

 

He doesn’t know if it’s worry or something entirely different.

 

Cas made them burgers and greasy fries with pie for dessert (the other man’s favorite). Later, he planned to watch the one cowboy movie  _ Tombstone _ (another favorite), but if the other man doesn’t show up, he’ll just work on his packing. 

 

He only gets a few bites in before the man finally appears. His usual suave attitude is dulled by drowsiness, his clothes a little ruffled from exertion.

 

“Sorry, angel, there was an unplanned multiple homicides a lil’ while ago and I had to do clean up,” he apologizes as he bends down and places a quick kiss to Castiel’s cheek. After sitting at his place at the table, he continues explaining what happened. 

 

“A bank robber ended up killing their hostages when the people were meant to survive. While the robber was  _ supposed _ to have been killed by a policeman, instead -just moments before it was gonna happen- the dude turned  _ right _ instead of left and killed the captives! What was he doing? Reenacting Doctor Who or something?” At that, the man takes a large bite out of his burger, adding in,  “Sometimes I really hate humanity’s unpredictability, but, hey, free will.” He shrugs.

 

“Sounds like a real handful,” is all Cas says before munching on a fry. 

 

“And can you believe that despite having so many reapers at my command, they were all too busy or too far away to help out! I had to do all the work myself! I get no respect!” the man continues to rant, almost spraying food from his full mouth. Cas raises a brow and sends him a look that says  _ watch your manners. _ The man notices and hunches his shoulders, apologizing in a meek voice. For such an intimidating man, he sure can look like a scolded child from just the smallest things.

 

It only takes a few bites for Castiel’s guest to inhale his burger. The lewd moans that accompany said bites aren't new or unwelcomed, but Cas still gives a disapproving raise of a brow just for posterity's sake.

 

The man gives him a cheeky smirk. “I can’t help it, you’re a great cook. And don’t act like you don’t like it.”

 

Cas rolls his eyes, taking a bite of his burger in order to hide his own grin threatening to appear. 

 

…

 

Once they’re done eating and their plates in the sink to be washed later, they both sit down on the plush couch to watch  _ Tombstone _ . 

 

The man sits in the middle and Cas sits to his right. He leans against the man’s side and welcomes the arm that the man wraps around his waist. 

 

For a movie about guns and tuberculosis, it isn’t half bad, but Cas would rather watch  _ Real Genius _ , which also has Val Kilmer. Even with the movie being one of the other man’s favorites, it doesn’t take long for his fingers to start wondering. At first it’s just a slow, distracted, circling of a thumb on Castiel’s hip, over his shirt, then under his shirt. Soon, it becomes full out roaming. 

 

Castiel ignores him for as long as he can. Which isn’t very long after the other man’s calloused hand starts playing with his nipple. In a flash, he’s straddling the dirty blond’s hips and grinding down. This is rewarded with a surprised groan, followed by a “fuck” breathed through clenched teeth.

 

Cas gets pulled down into a deep kiss and happily reciprocates. When they finally pull apart, the man mumbles, “I don’t know when I’ll be able to slip away again. I don’t want to waste the time we got.”

 

After taking a moment to catch his breath, a mischievous smile pulls at the corners of Castiel’s mouth. “Then I guess I’ll have to fuck you until you’re able to feel it for the next week.” He emphasizes his point with a ground of his hips.

 

The man moans again, then whines when Cas stands up. Cas grabs the other man’s hand and drags him to the bedroom. 

 

The door shuts with a resounding click of the latch. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ~~~~~ means flashback. Think of it like a ripple effect in movies or something

He should be used to waking up to a vacant bed, but he still feels a little tang of bitterness over it every time.

 

Cas shuffles into the kitchen all bleary eyed and wrapped in his fuzzy blanket with little pies on them. The coffee machine has a little note leaning against it. Cas pics it up to read:

 

_ Sorry I couldn’t stay to eat your amazing bacon omelettes, but duty calls, as always. I hope to see you again sooner rather than later. And on good terms, so don’t go dying on me. _

 

At the bottom, instead of a name, it’s signed by a small drawing of a sickle and a little heart.

 

Cas starts up his coffee and rereads the note while he waits. It makes him feel nostalgic, driving his thoughts to back when he first met the man.

 

~~~~~ 

 

Cas opens a bottle of medications and pours almost all of the bottle into a bowl. He then grabs a cleaned rock from the garden and uses it to smash the pills into a powder. Once he’s satisfied with the consistency, he pours the powder into a mug of warm tea, mixing it until everything is completely dissolved. 

 

He takes the pill bottle and mug upstairs to the bedroom, where his wife lies sick. “Hey, how’re you feeling? Any better?” he asks her as he sits on the edge of the bed at her hip. His wife sits up weakly, her nose beet red and bags circling her eyes.

 

“I haven’t been this sick in forever,” she complains. Her stuffy nose causes her voice to be more nasally and muffled. “Did you bring me my tea?”

 

“Yes, April. I also brought you some of your medicine. I thought it might help.” he hands her the mug of tea and rattles the bottle at eye level before placing it on the nightstand. 

 

April takes a large gulp of her tea. “Even when my taste buds are messed up, you still can’t make a good cup of tea,” she jokes over the lip of the cup, “It’s almost gritty.”

 

“I don’t care how bad it tastes, you need to drink it all so you can feel better.”

 

She rolls her eyes, drinking her tea until there’s only one gulp left. She reaches over and gets two pills from her medicine bottle, then uses the last bit of her tea to wash them down. “There, are you happy now?” 

 

Cas gives her a loving smile, kissing her on her forehead, and taking the mug from her. “Very. Now get to sleep, you need to rest.” 

 

“Alright. But when I finally get over this, we should go explore the new trail in the park,” she sighs, laying back down.

 

Cas stands to leave. “We’ll see. If the weather permits it.” 

 

…

 

Castiel makes sure to thoroughly scrub the mug. He dries it, then places it around the middle of the cabinet before grabbing one of April’s favorite ones from the front and filling it with more tea.

 

When he gets to the bedroom, there’s a man dressed in all black standing over his wife. The man reaches out a gloved hand to brush a lock of hair from April’s forehead. The blanket goes down with her breath, but never comes back up.

 

“Who the hell are you!? How’d you get in here!? Get away from my wife!” Cas yells, barging in between the two defensively. He places the cup of tea down next to the pill bottle without looking so that his hands are free if he needs to defend himself from the stranger.

 

The man raises a brow at him, his expression unreadable. “Says the man that just killed her,” he states plainly.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just in here, she was sleeping,” Cas snaps back, acting as if he didn’t just overdose his wife.

 

A smirk pulls at the man’s mouth, his brow raising even higher. “Oh? Cause I have a pretty good authority to say that she’s dead.”

 

Cas doesn’t believe that the man witnessed anything, but just in case, he deflects the blame. “With the way you’re speaking, how do I know you didn’t just kill her?”

 

The man leans into Castiel’s space and he finds himself trying to lean away out of intimidation. The stranger’s second brow joins the first as he says, “Maybe cause the whole reason I’m here is because she’s dead?” He says it as if the statement will cause a big epiphany, but it only leaves Cas more confused and standoffish. 

 

“W-what are you talking about?” me manages to ask.

 

The man leans back out of Castiel’s personal space and takes a few steps back. “How about we move this to the kitchen? You might need a drink for this, and if you don’t want one, I’d like one anyways,” he offers with a friendly smile.

 

And with that, the man disappears. 

 

Cas is left blinking into the space the man had occupied less than a second ago. Shock, confusion, and a bit of arousal (hey, the man was crazy attractive, can you blame him?) flood his veins. He stands there for an unknown amount of time before coming to his senses.

 

He runs down stairs and bursts into his kitchen. There, sitting comfortably at his kitchen table, is the strange man in black. On the table sits a half empty bottle of whiskey and an empty tumbler set at the seat across from the man. “Wh- how?” Cas stumbles. 

 

The attractive man chuckles, taking a sip of whiskey from the glass in his gloveless hand. “Sit and I’ll explain, gorgeous” 

 

Cas hesitates a moment, but sits down anyways. There’s a short silence between them before the man finally speaks up.

 

“I’m death. I came to reap your kill.”

 

A pause. 

 

Cas reaches over and snatches the bottle of whiskey, fills his glass, then downs it in big gulps. He hisses through his teeth at the burn and clanks his glass back down onto the table.

 

“Let me get this straight. You’re claiming to be  _ the _ Death and you’re here because…?” 

 

“You killed your wife.” He says it like he's reading from a report.

 

Yeah, Cas needs another drink. This wasn’t happening. 

 

As if reading his mind, the man reaches over and pours him another glass of whiskey. Castiel gulps it down just as fast as the first one. At the speed he’s going, the alcohol already had the bottom of his gut starting to feel warm and a bit queasy. 

 

“If you’re Death, then doesn’t that mean you would be the reason she died.”

 

The man shakes his head. “That’s not how it works. I might be death, but really, I’m just a guide. I help those who are about to pass over. They can’t actually continue on until I touch them.” He wiggles the fingers of his gloved hand, the skin pale compared to the black leather of the fingerless glove. 

 

“But this makes no sense. I’ve killed many a times before, but we are just now meeting. Why are you showing yourself to me? Better yet, why are you sticking around after the job has been done?”

 

“Well when you’ve been around as long as I have, you need a little spice in your not-life,” is all the man answers with. He empties his glass, and in a blink of an eye, there’s three  more fingers of drink in it. 

 

“So you decided to just show yourself to a random person?” Cas starts to message his temples, trying to wrap his head around all of this. This is definitely gonna require more alcohol, so Cas pours himself yet another glass, but this time he sticks to just a few fingers. He doesn’t want to go  _ too _ fast and up chuck. Vomiting on Death is probably not a good idea.

 

“Actually, you caught my interest.”

 

That makes Cas raise his head and meet Death’s gaze. “And why is that? There’s plenty of black widowers out there. Even some grifters who kill their marks. So why me?”

 

He just shrugs, “beats me, you’re just different. Can’t really complain, though, you are one delicious eye candy.”

 

Cas barks out a single laugh, “Have you seen yourself? You’re walking sex in a leather jacket!” Okay, so it's definitely time to cut back on that whiskey…

 

Death leans forward in interest, “Who do you see, anyways? I always appear as whoever the dying need to see; normally I can figure it out, but with you, I’m curious.”

 

Castiel hums in thought before he answers. “You look nothing like any of my past spouses, -which is to say- kind of my type.”

 

Death gives him a sultry smile. “And what’s your type?” Cas sends the smile right back at him. 

 

“Devastatingly handsome, freckled, green eyes, dirty blonde, and just begging to be dominated.”

 

His answer makes Death’s eyebrows raise again. “Am I what you expected?”

 

Cas chuckles at the thought. “As the personification of Death? Not really, no. I was expecting more ghostly reaper on a skeleton horse, less hot biker. The leather is a nice touch though.”

 

“Good to know.”

 

A silence passes between them again as they both take sips from their glasses. Death pulls out a pocket watch from his jeans. It’s shining silver with ornate designs. Castiel can’t see all the details with his buzz and the table between them, but it seems to be very well crafted. The chain gives off a slight rattle as Death opens the watch to check the time. A sigh passes the man’s lips before he gulps down the last bit of his glass and shoves the watch back into his pocket as he stands up. 

 

“I gotta go, duty calls.”

 

Before Cas can think, he finds himself reaching out to the man. “Wait!” he grabs the wrist of Death’s ungloved hand, “Will I see you again before my own time, Death?”

 

Death smiles and turns to him. “Please, call me Dean. It sounds less morbid.”

 

“Dean.” Cas says, as if trying it out on his tongue. “I hope to see you again without having to die.” Death’s smile turns more affectionate and pulls Castiel’s hand into his own. 

 

“I guess we’ll see.” 

 

With a kiss to the back of his hand and a wink, Dean disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy that people are liking this! Can't wait to read your comments <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting this yesterday, I admit that I was too wrapped up in the series premier XD But here it is!

It’s only about two and a half weeks after April’s funeral when Cas goes on the prowl once again. Thus leading to another confrontation with Death. Sorry,  _ Dean _ .

 

Cas moved a few states over once everything for April was done. Despite being new to the area, it isn’t hard to find a club to go to. While there, Cas meets a lecherous man by the name of Zacharia. The man is overweight, short, and smells heavily of alcohol and expensive cologne. Going by the well tailored suit, Cas has to guess he’s a wealthy businessman. It doesn’t make sense that the man is here at a club, but Cas won’t complain.  The man is already  inebriated, making his murder easy to both accomplish and chalk it up to something else. 

 

Of course Dean doesn’t show until after Castiel is done with clean up.  

 

“Heyya, Angel. I see you decided on a change of scenery,” he says. Cas doesn’t have to see him to know that there’s a teasing smirk on his face.

 

“I’ve found staying in the same area after the death of a spouse a real hassle. Everyone knows you, about you. All the condolences and the pitying looks grates the nerves. Especially when you didn’t even care about the person but have to act like you do,” he pauses in putting his supplies in his trunk, “Wait… what did you call me?”   
  


Dean shrugs. “It’s just a nickname, I’m a person of simplicity.” Castiel gets in his car and Dean follows.  “ _ Anyways _ , it just so happens that I’ve got some time to spare. Care to have dinner? At your place of course, it’s not like I can really go to a restaurant.”

 

Cas puts the key in the ignition, but doesn’t start the car just yet. “How about I get some take out from the diner nearby and we just call it even?”

 

“And pie?” such a hopeful, almost childlike look should not look so perfect on Death’s face. 

 

“I’ll make sure to get you some pie too.” 

 

The smile that splits Dean’s face is totally worth the extra few dollars Cas is going to spend on pie. “Awesome. Meet you at your place, and I promise not to snoop around too much in your stuff.” Dean winks and does the weird finger-gun thing before disappearing from the passenger seat. Finger guns? Really? Who knew Death is so cheesy?

 

Cas didn’t get to tell him his address. He doesn’t want to know how Dean got it...

 

...

 

It doesn’t take long for Cas to grab food and head home. His new place is a quaint apartment on the sixth floor. When he turns on the lights, Dean is there, just relaxing on the couch like he owns the place. Though there really isn’t anyone going to argue with him about it. At least anyone with a brain and/or survival instincts.

 

Cas doesn’t say anything as he starts to set up the food on his small round table in the kitchen.

 

“So, when I promised to not snoop too much, I may have overestimated my self control…”

 

He glances over to the couch where Dean is now leaning over the back of it to watch Cas. “And what you’re saying is?”

 

“Dude, how can you still have so many books when you move around so much? And what the hell is up with no damn porn mags! What kinda man are you!?”

 

“I hold my books in high respect, thank you. I’ve even made it a point where I'm able to pack them all in the most compact way.” Cas stops what he’s doing to face Dean head on. “What’s wrong with me not having ‘porn mags’ I really don’t see how that makes me any less of a biological man. Besides, why in the world were you looking to see if I had them?”

 

Instead of answering, Dean just laughs, hugging his gut. “Air quotes!? Really!?” he huffs between laughs, “You just keep getting more and more interesting, Angel!” Cas just rolls his eyes and finishes with the food, mumbling “that doesn’t answer my questions,” under his breath.

 

“You can come eat whenever you’re ready.”

 

Dean hops off of the couch and skips over to his seat at the table. “Awesome! It’s been forever since I sat down and ate some greasy diner food with someone!” 

 

Cas raises a brow at Dean from over his sandwich. “Do you do this with all the serial killers you find attractive?” 

 

Dean chuckles. “No, you’re the first, don’t worry,” he takes a large bite of his own burger (extra bacon, extra greasy) before continuing around the food in his mouth, “I have a younger brother, Sammy. We meet up whenever we can and hang out, but our schedules are so hectic we rarely have breaks at the same time.” He waits until he’s done chewing to say, “now that I think about it, we haven’t hung out in a few decades now…”

 

“That really is a long time,” Cas agrees, “but let us rewind to the fact that  _ Death  _ has a brother. How does that work?”

 

Dean shoves a chilli cheese fry in his mouth before answering. “There’s only one Death at a time. Sammy’s a judge. He looks into the souls of the dead and decides where they should go. Heaven, Hell, or the Empty and how long it’ll be until they’re reincarnated.” Cas nods in understanding, eating his food in silence as Dean explains. “The Egyptians call him Osiris, which, I guess is close enough to his name. It’s been a while, things get scrambled in translation.”

 

Cas hums. There’s a weird feeling poking at the back of his skull. It reminds him of deja vu, as if he already knew about Sam but forgot about it. 

 

The rest of dinner is moderately quiet while Cas tries to wrap his head around the new information and the odd feeling.

 

…

 

Once they finish, Cas cleans up and Dean takes his pie with him to eat it on the couch. “So what kind of entertainment do you got around here?” Dean asks around a mouth of pie. 

 

“Do you really have to ask? Thought you knew about everything I have,” Cas snarks back. He wipes his hands off with a dish towel before joining Dean in the living room. 

 

Dean laughs, shoving another forkful of pie in his mouth. He has really bad table manners. “I may have snooped a little, but I didn’t go into everything. What kind of movies do you have?”

 

“I don’t have any,” Cas confesses, sitting down next to Dean and grabbing the remote off of the glass coffee table.

 

“How can you not have any movies!?” He says it like Cas commited a crime worse than his usual killings.

 

Cas gives him a look.  “They’re too much of a hassle to take with me every time I move.”

 

“Yet you’ve kept all your books…” 

 

The look turns to a glare.  “I told you, my books are important to me. Way more than a bunch of useless CD’s that hold things that I can just watch on Netflix or the internet.” Dean opens his mouth to say something, but Cas cuts him off. “And before you say anything about reading my books online too, I shall inform you that I find the smell and feeling of actual paper more enjoyable than just scrolling down on a web page.”

 

Dean’s mouth shuts and he concedes with a shrug of his shoulders. He puts his now empty plate on the coffee table. “Fine. Then what should we watch on Netflix?”

 

“Have you seen Law and Order or any of the CSI’s?” Cas asks as he navigates the tv to his Netflix account.

 

Dean snorts. “A murderer who likes watching cop shows, who would have thought?”

 

“Would you rather watch Dexter or something?” Cas raises an incredulous brow and looks to Dean out of the corner of his eye.

 

“Nah, Law 'n Order is fine, I’ve already seen all of Dexter.”

 

Cas gives a sniff. “Figures,” he mumbles before getting comfortable himself and starting an episode of the show.

 

…

 

Over the course of two episodes, they find themselves slowly drifting closer to each other. Dean has an arm flung across the back of the couch, mere inches from Castiel’s shoulders, and Cas is leaning into Dean’s (admittingly warm) side, their thighs touching from hip to knee.

 

Dean does an ongoing commentary, continuously throwing out theories on who the attacker could be. Whenever he’s proven right, he gives out a “aha! Called it!” of smug victory. 

 

Instead of getting annoyed at the man, Cas finds himself enjoying Dean’s playfulness and his company.    
  


By the time they are halfway through the fourth episode, Castiel’s hand has migrated to Dean’s knee and Dean’s arm has moved from the couch to Castiel’s waist, hand laying comfortingly on his hip. Fatigue starts to settle on Cas and he lets his head lull to Dean’s shoulder. After a few moments, he feels the weight of Dean resting his head against Castiel’s own. Cas lets out a content sigh before drifting off to sleep.   
  
…

 

Cas wakes up on his couch under the softest blanket he has ever felt. The blanket is a deep blue with a pie slice pattern and notably  _ not  _ his. He sits there for a few minutes, analysing his memories of the night before. It was only a few hours ago that he was, in all intensive purposes,  _ cuddling  _ with the almighty  _ Death.  _

 

But… there was just something that felt so  _ right _ . There was a feeling of familiarity to their actions… Like they’ve done them before… It’s close, but not quite similar to the feeling he had gotten last night over Sam.

 

Cas wraps himself in the blanket (It’s incredibly soft. Dean’s not gonna be getting it back any time soon) and shuffles groggily to the kitchen for some much needed coffee. 

 

Leaning against the coffee maker is folded piece of paper. On it reads, “Enjoyed hanging out with you. I hope that we can do it again sometime soon,” in blocky writing. At the end is a winking smiley face and it’s signed with a small drawing of a scythe.

  
Cas sticks the note to the side of the fridge with a magnet and gets ready for work.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad that people are enjoying this! I've put a lot of work into it and am so happy to see it come to fruition!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this chapter starts off around a month after the end of the last chapter.

Cas has spent the better part of a month working towards gaining a possible candidate for his next spouse.   
  


He finds one in a woman named Hannah. She lives down the hall from him and works in retail. They met almost a week after his night with Dean. Cas was doing laundry in the building’s provided laundry mat when she came up to him to ask for dryer sheets. Afterwards, they struck up a conversation about stain removal and everything escalated from there.

 

Even though Cas has a project to work on, he still is starting to feel the itch. The itch of a month long dry spell. He’s a little hesitant since he's been too busy to scout the area, but the thought of possibly getting to see Dean again convinces him to go.

 

Just to be cautious, Cas goes to the more racey part of the city and looks for someone who spells trouble. He’s walking down one of the streets when he runs into a young woman. Literally. She just _appears_ , stepping out from around the corner just in time for Cas to bump into her. 

 

She falls down and Cas instantly feels bad and helps her up. Such a young lady shouldn’t be out so late and in this part of town. “I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

 

The woman looks dazed for a moment before nodding her head. 

 

“Don’t mind my asking, but what are you doing out so late? This isn’t the best area for a young woman. There could be serial killers out here.” Not an inaccurate statement, but she didn’t need to know the exact truth of the matter. “I’m Cas, do you want me to help you get home or to a family member?”

 

Her blue eyes met his. “I’m Hael. Can you help me get back to my family?”

 

“Of course, where are they? I’m new to the area, but I’ll help you in any way I can.” Just cause he kills people doesn’t mean he’s a heartless bastard, thank you very much. This young girl needs help getting home and he’ll help her. And not because she doesn’t fit his usual profile of victims.

 

“They’re upstairs, in heaven. Say hi to them for me.” Her tone might not change from it’s innocent sweetness, but the knife she draws out of her pocket definitely doesn’t fit the picture. Cas narrowly dodges it and is able to quickly hit her in the temple at just the right spot to knock her out. 

 

Okay, so she does fit his profile…

 

…

 

Finding Hael’s car isn’t that hard. She parked close, so it only took him hitting the button on her key fob a few times to find it. 

 

He uses her license to find her address. A lake sits only a short distance from her home, giving Cas a wonderful idea on how to dispose of the body. 

 

Dean shows up just as he’s setting the car up to drive into the lake with Hael belted into the driver’s seat. 

 

“You come up with some interesting ways of clean up,” he muses, leaning an arm on Castiel’s shoulder. 

 

“Can’t have a noticeable pattern that could link the deaths. At least I make up a death that suits them.” Cas sets things into motion and the car speeds off and reers over to crash into the water. “You’re early. She won’t be dead for a little while now. Gotta wait until she drowns.”

 

Dean just shrugs. “What can I say? I was just eager to see you again.” Cas rolls his eyes turns to go back to his own car. “How do the cops not notice whenever the deaths  _ don’t  _ correlate with their positions? Like that last guy, Zach-something.” Dean asks, following him. 

 

“They don’t always look so far into a case that looks like an accident or a simple mugging gone wrong. If they did, it would be a waste of their resources and time for every normal case they do. Either way, I usually make it so their injuries go along with how they are found. If they're found, that is.”

 

Dean hums, incredulous towards Castiel’s reasoning. “I still don’t like it. Won’t be surprised when they pick up on your little schemes.”

 

Cas stops at his drivers side door, turning to face Dean head on.  “Oh how your confidence in me speaks wonders about your true thoughts.”

 

“Hey, hey, I never said I wasn’t rooting for you! I know that you’re smart enough to get out of any pickle a simple police investigation can throw you into.” Dean holds up his hands in surrender.

 

Cas nods in smug agreement. “Thank you. I find it easy to not get caught when I believe I’m not guilty of the crimes.”

 

“What d’ya mean?” 

 

“I mean, you are the one killing these people, not me. It’s the technicality that leads to me speaking what I see as truth. No lie detector can beat me and no person can read me.” 

 

“I can.” Dean smirks. The two have been gravitating towards one another since Dean showed up, but now they stand with their faces only a foot apart.

 

“Is that right?” Cas leans even closer, giving Dean a teasing smirk of his own.

 

“Oh yes, like how you’re purposely flirting with Death and yet show no fear.”

 

Cas raises a brow and tilts his head in a way that makes Dean’s eyes dilate. “Is that a bad thing?” 

 

“Hell no. Keep doing it.”

 

Cas leans in the last little bit. Close enough that their noses are brushing, but instead of going in for the kiss Dean is aiming for, Cas moves to his ear and whispers “Sure you can handle it?” before stepping out of Dean’s reach and getting in his car. Leaving Dean to stand there, flustered and alone as Cas drives away.

 

Dean appears in the passenger seat, sitting with one leg up in order for his body to be turned completely towards Cas. “You’re a cheeky little bastard, ya know that?” he huffs.

 

Cas reaches a hand over to pinch Dean’s cheek like a child. “Aw you know me so well, you really do pay attention.”

 

“Well it’s hard not to get distracted by such an eye catcher.” 

 

“Who woulda knew that Death was a flirt.”

 

“I thought everyone knew that?” 

 

Cas full out laughs as he navigates them off of the highway and to his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus: They have tacos that night. Half way through his second one, Dean pauses. “Do these tacos taste funny to you?” 
> 
> *deadpan, not even looking up from his taco* “No. I didn’t put poison in mine.”
> 
> “Dude…” 
> 
> Cas just shrugs, “I was curious if it would work, apparently it doesn’t.”
> 
> “Oh I see how it is. This gonna become a habit?” 
> 
> “Maybe.” 
> 
> (It totally does.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts in the present time from chapters 1-4

The coffee machine beeps that it’s done, bringing Cas back from his reveries. He makes his cup and heads to the living room. 

 

Boxes litter the floor, making Cas have to maneuver through them like a maze in order to sit down in front of his book shelf.

 

It’s been about half a week since the funeral, even longer since Hannah’s death.

 

It’s gonna take about another week to get everything in order for the move.

 

Oh what fun…

 

…

 

He’s packing a book about Egyptian mythology when something happens. One moment he’s reading a title, the next, there’s spots dancing in his vision and a sudden pain pounding in his head.

 

A picture of a short, golden haired man with matching golden wings and eyes flashes in his vision. The man pulls a lollipop out of his mouth and gives Cas a mischievous grin. The image is gone as soon as it came, replaced by a tall man with floppy hair and Egyptian looking robes. He stands in front of a tall desk, his arms crossed and rolling his eyes at something a man next to Cas said. 

 

It disappears like the first one before Cas can look to see who the person beside him is. It’s followed by one of a shining lake surrounded by trees. A short red headed woman wearing a wreath on her head smiles up at him before taking his hand and pulling towards the lake. Someone sits on the large rocks, wearing black swim shorts and tank top.

 

Cas gasps for breath, dropping his book as he blinks away the images. Startled, he looks around the room. 

 

No one. 

 

He’s all alone. 

 

Cas tries to brush it off and get back to packing, but his hands are shaking and he can’t bring himself to concentrate on the task. He gives up and decides to go out on the prowl instead. He needs to scratch the itch. It’s appeared sooner than normal, but Cas is too distracted to notice.   
  


He puts on his coat, grabs his keys, grabs the door handle, but then pauses. It’s too early. Lunchtime at the latest. Not to mention the extra eyes that will be on him for the next few days after having been called into the police station like he was. 

 

It’s not smart, or safe to go out. Where is his head right now?

 

With a heavy sigh, Cas sets up his laptop at the kitchen table to work towards finalizing his moving preparations and other things like check his email. Anything to distract himself.

 

…

 

It’s going on eight o’clock by the time Cas finishes everything he can today. He orders Chinese delivery and settles down to watch some Netflix. Hopefully, it will tie him over for the night. 

 

He ends up falling asleep with his food sitting heavy in his stomach and Netflix still playing Merlin on his TV. 

 

That night, Cas is plagued by more weird visions of people he doesn’t know, but can’t remember them at all when he wakes up. He decides to just brush them off as weird dreams and gets back to packing.

 

It won’t be long now before he can go back to killing and seeing Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh noes~ what’s wrong with Cas~? Try and guess ;D 
> 
> Sorry about how short it is, but the next few ones are going to be real short. For story telling purposes, I swear! They'll get back to normal length soon.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is the shortest one yet, but to make up for it, I’m posting it a day early AND I posted a Halloween special! You should go check it out when you’re done here! Also, we’ve made it to the halfway point! I’m so excited! Can’t wait to start posting the second half!
> 
> Halloween fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16474022

It’s been a month and a half since Hannah’s death. So far, Cas has moved to an all new city, gotten a job as an accountant at a local business, and has killed one person. It helped with his itch, but the same empty feeling from before has started to come back. Time to find a new spouse. 

 

It’s barely a week into his new job when the boss’s assistant catches his eye. Her name is Kelly and it’s evident that she and Mr. Rooney are having  _ relations  _ despite the man being married and having kids.

 

Cas still makes it so that Kelly thinks they have chemistry. Just for future reference...

 

…

 

Three more months pass. 

 

Four more kills. 

 

Still no Dean. 

 

And on top of that, Cas has started getting weird visions at random times of the day. One also comes every night in his dreams, but he can barely remember them by lunch time.

 

Mr. Rooney ends up breaking it off with Kelly and she’s crushed. Cas offers a shoulder to cry on, because he’s a nice guy and a good friend. Not as if he has ulterior motives. 

 

After that night, Castiel’s itch becomes really bad and he goes out for another kill. It goes smoothly, but Dean doesn’t show up. Again. When Cas gets back home, he has to shove down the curdling feeling that builds in his stomach. 

 

Dean isn’t there waiting for him.

 

At this point, Cas is actually getting worried about him. There’s no reason to be, he’s Death for crying out loud. He can’t be hurt. 

 

But then again, ever since they first started having their little _meetings_ , Dean has never been radio silent for so long. Or for this many kills.

 

Castiel’s vision/dream that night is the most vivid one yet. They’re almost always about Dean and him at the beautiful lake. Always full of love. This one is so strong, when he wakes up, he has wet eyes and a pain in his chest. The feeling stays with him, but the nice images leave his mind within the week. It’s like trying to hold onto the most beautiful sand, but being forced to watch it fall through his fingers. 

 

It’s a horrible feeling.

 

Within the next three weeks, him and Kelly are dating. What can he say? He’s a charmer.

 

Afterwards, Cas starts killing at least once every other week. The visions are more persistent even though they refuse to stay. 

 

He needs to get this thing with Kelly over with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is getting a bit sad, but I’ll leave you off with a good note! After not working on this for a good two weeks, I came back and finished the entire outline for chapter 15 AND written out all of chapter 13 AND worked a little on a behind the scenes author notes/commentary chapter that will be posted once the story is finished!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: IDK if you noticed in the tags, but it says that there’s suicide. It’s not described too explicitly and is actually a murder that’s just set up to LOOK like a suicide, but if it makes you uncomfortable, skip the bit between the xXXx’s. Also, this chapter is hella sad and not even because of the self harm reference.

Three more months pass and Cas proposes to Kelly. She says yes and they have a small wedding the next month.

 

They go to Hawaii for their honeymoon. It’s so cliche, that Cas blocks most of it from his mind. 

 

Well, everything but the one kill he did and the one time he swore he caught a glimpse of Dean. He was walking through a marketplace and he swore that he saw Dean out of the corner of his eye, but when he turned, it was just a black beach towel flapping in the breeze. Just his eyes playing tricks on his heart.    
  


Kelly has a great time, but Cas doesn’t think she’s what he’s looking for. Her friends are prissy with high standards and she herself is kind of bland. 

 

But then again, anyone would be considered bland when compared to the personification of death. 

 

God does Cas miss Dean…

 

The visions aren’t helping, either. Kelly has noticed that he’s always getting up in the middle of the night in cold sweats or waking up in tears. She asks about it and he gives her some bullshit about PTSD and how he doesn’t want to talk about it. Whenever he gets the visions during the day, he blames them on chronic migraines. She keeps buying him painkillers, but he just hides them or uses them for kills.

 

Cas knows exactly when Kelly starts having an affair with Mr. Rooney again. Two months, one week, and three days after their wedding, to be exact. He’s been cheated on before and finds himself too tired to care this time. He just keeps his mouth shut and makes sure that they look like a normal, healthy newly wed couple. If anyone expected him of knowing, it would ruin his plans.

 

On the one year anniversary of Dean’s last visit, Cas kills Kelly. They’ve been married for almost three months.

 

**xXXx**

 

He makes it look like a suicide. As far as the authorities know, Kelly was found by the members of her book club. They came over for a meeting and found her submerged in a bathtub filled with bloody water. The reports say that she passed out from the blood loss and drowned. 

 

The note Cas makes for her says something along the lines of not being able to take hiding her affair from him anymore. That she feels dirty and can’t live with the possible consequences if Cas ever found out. She says that she takes her sins with her to hell with the ultimate final sin. 

 

It’s a little dramatic, but it sounds like something she might think up and he has to put it to the extreme for it to make sense,

 

**xXXx**

  
  


Dean still doesn’t show.

  
  


...

  
  
  


Kelly’s small number friends and family members think he’s crying over Kelly’s death. 

  
  
  


He’s not.

  
  
  


He’s the last to leave the funeral, once again. Having stayed in hope that Dean will show up.

 

...

  
  


Dean’s not waiting for him at home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart ached just writing this and even more when I had to edit :’( 
> 
> I know the last two chapters have been pretty short, but there’s a reason, I swear! Just bare with it! This is the last one like this, I promise!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay~ long chapters again! And I’m so happy to tell yinz that I’m officially done with writing everything!!!! I was so happy when I finished this yesterday, I cheered in the middle of work! This is legit the longest completed work I’ve done all by myself! I can’t wait to start working on some of the other stories I’ve been planning!

It takes three days for Cas to come back to himself, then two more days to move. This time he’s selected a small apartment almost six states over from his last house.

 

It’s been two days since he’s moved. He hasn’t found a job yet, but he’s proud to say that he’s almost done unpacking and even bought a little hanging house plant and other potted plants. Taking care of them helps him relax.

 

He’s watering said plants when there’s a familiar shift in the air.

 

“This is a nice lil setup, Angel.”   
  


Cas drops the pitcher in his hand. It’s plastic, so it doesn’t break, but water still splashes everywhere. He doesn’t care, his world just stopped.   
  


“Whoa there! There’s water everywhere and you almost got your foot!” Dean goes to move things out of the way of the spreading water, but before he can do anything, Cas turns around and they lock eyes for the first time in over a year. 

 

Cas punches Dean right in the nose. 

 

It doesn’t physically wound him, but it’s still surprising enough to make him stumble back and slip in the water. He lands on his ass and holds his nose in shock, looking up at Cas.

 

“ _ WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!? _ ”    
  


“Whoa, turn off the caps lock. What’re you talking about? I’ve only been gone a week!”

 

“A  _ week _ !? Yeah, you would’ve been gone for a week.  _ This time last year _ !” 

 

“What? You’re not making any sense!” Dean stands up so that he doesn’t have to break his neck just to meet Castiel’s eyes.

 

“You’ve been gone for a year, Dean! You left that night and never came back! Complete radio silence for a  _ year _ !”

 

“No… That can’t be…” Dean spoke in a quiet voice now, as if struck in awe by the situation.

 

“Really? Then do you know about my latest wife, Kelly. About the 27 more people I’ve added to my list? How about the fact that I’ve lived in two different places before moving here?” Cas pokes Dean in the chest really hard at each point he makes. He takes a shuddering breath before continuing with a weaker voice. “The fact that I’ve dreamt about you almost every night. That I killed almost every other week, hoping that you’d show up. And you never did. You never did and I had no way to know if you would ever come back…” 

 

By the end, Cas isn’t able to hold back his tears anymore. He stopped poking Dean half way through. Instead, his forehead rests against Dean’s collar bone and his hands are fisted in Dean’s shirt like he's afraid that if he let go, Dean would disappear again and never come back. 

 

Dean wraps his arms around Cas. “I really don’t know what happened. I didn’t know I was gone for so long. You gotta believe me. I would’ve never left you hanging like that if I’d known.”

 

“Why were you gone so long?”

 

“I was helping Sammy. Shit went down in the South Americas and he was overloaded. He asked for me to come and help him, so I did. Time moves differently there, but I never would’ve guessed that I was gone for a whole year.” Dean kisses the top of Castiel’s head. “I’m sorry I put you through that. I promise to never do it again. I won’t ask for you to forgive me, just to believe me.”

 

Cas leans back, not enough to separate from Dean, but enough to look him in the eye. “I believe you, Dean. I know you wouldn’t do this on purpose.”

 

“Of course I wouldn’t.” Dean kisses him. Cas can taste his own tears and he’s disgusted with himself for crying. For showing so much weakness over such a little thing. 

 

Dean must sense where his train of thought is going, because he ends their kiss and buries his face into the crook of Cas’s neck. “It’s okay to have a weakness, Angel. Everyone has them, even me. It’s only natural.”

 

“Oh? What’s your weakness?” Dean takes the snark returning to Castiel’s voice as a good sign.

 

Dean kisses up Cas’s neck, along his jaw, to the back of his ear before whispering into it. “You.” 

 

“You’re such a cheesy sap,” Cas huffs with no heat to it, pulling Dean into a desperate and deep kiss.

 

They go to move towards the sofa, but almost slip in the water once again. Dean chuckles against Castiel’s mouth. “We should really clean that up. My ass is already soaked from falling once, I’d rather not fall again.”

 

Cas makes a whining sound, trying to get Dean to go back to what he was doing. The man doesn’t budge, so Cas gives in and the two of them towel up the mess.

 

Castiel’s stomach growls right as they’re finishing up, so Dean suggests having dinner before they do any  _ extracurricular activities _ .

 

…

 

Dinner consists of fettuccine alfredo with grilled chicken slices, courtesy of Dean’s guilty conscious. They eat in almost silence. 

 

Instead of sitting in their usual seats across from each other, they sit shoulder to shoulder, hands linked and resting on Dean’s thigh.

 

…

 

They leave the dishes in the sink for the next day and cuddle up together on the couch. Dean lay long ways and Cas lays almost on top of him, his head pillowed on Dean’s chest while they watch a show called Fringe. Cas stumbled upon it back when he and Kelly were still married and he thought Dean would like it. At the time, it hurt just to think about such a thing, but now that Cas lays in Dean’s arms, it feels like he’s floating.

 

They’re almost to the end of the first episode when Dean speaks up. “There’s a question that’s been bugging me… Do you even like the people you keep marrying?”

 

“Some I more so tolerate than anything, but there were a few that I actually cared for.“

 

Dean gives him a ‘Go on’ look, accompanied with a double chin that makes Cas chuckle. 

 

“Uriel was an assbutt who stole from the company he worked for. Balthazar and I were friends for a long time before we got together, but he wasn’t the best at keeping to one lover. I don’t mind polygamy, but when you don’t tell the other person about it, it’s cheating. That and he had a habit of being annoying when he was drunk. Which was 85% of the time. Meg had a very high chance of sharing my… interests, so it was a shame she died before I could reveal anything. April was a domestic abuser. Hannah was sweet, gentle, and loved with everything she had, but was terribly dependent. You don’t know of Kelly, but she also dabbled in infidelity before we even got together.” 

 

Cas sighs, tightening his hold on Dean. “Other than Meg, who was killed in a scuffle with a rival mob boss named Crowley, none of them were special enough to keep me from killing them.”

 

“Then why do you keep marrying more people? Why did you marry Kelly when you didn’t feel anything for her?”

 

“I don’t know. Before our marriages, I had no reason to kill most of them. Some I didn’t really need to kill after, either.”

 

“That just makes the whole thing seem pointless.”

 

“Perhaps. But there’s this hollow feeling that spreads through me if I’m alone for too long. Like my body is screaming at me that there’s something missing. It’s like the itch I get to kill, but stronger, more ingrained into my very being.” Cas pushes himself up from where his head lays on Dean’s chest so it’s easier to look Dean in the eye. “It doesn’t happen when you’re around, though.”

 

Dean gives Cas a small, loving smile. “Now who’s being the sap?” 

 

“Oh shut up and kiss me.” 

 

Dean only manages a short chuckle before Cas devours his mouth. 

 

The kisses aren’t as desperate as when Dean first reappeared, but they  _ are  _ just as passionate. 

 

They spend the rest of the night together on the couch, their clothes strewn over the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually experienced an unexpected radio silence from a significant other before. Luckily it wasn't a whole year (just five weeks), but that shit gets to you. Worry and uncertainty is killer (pun not intended, but kept cause lol puns)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy late Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! Sorry that I didn't have time to post this yesterday! A chapter for the holidays! TBH this chapter has a lil bit of everything!

Cas wakes up on an empty couch. He shoots up and looks around, afraid that Dean had left again and afraid that if he did, he might not come back this time. But then the smell of bacon hits him and he hears a lowered voice humming to the tune of Renegade by the Styx.   
  


His entire body relaxes. 

 

Dean’s in the kitchen, cooking some omelettes in only his boxer briefs. The man taps his foot to his own beat and bops to the song he’s humming. He takes a moment to admire the way Dean’s back muscles move under his freckled skin.

Cas pushes off of the doorway he was leaning on, and goes up to Dean to hug him from behind. His lips attach to Dean’s neck like magnets, so close he can feel Dean’s chuckle rumble through his body. 

 

“Mornin’ Sunshine. Hope you’re in the mood for my specialty ham, cheese and pepper omelettes with a side of artery-clogging good bacon.” 

 

Cas detaches his mouth from where it was sucking on Dean’s pulse point. “Sounds delicious.”

 

...

 

Yes, it was incredibly delicious. And not just because they ate while almost in each other’s lap.

 

Once they finish, they wash the dishes left from the night before and the new ones from breakfast. Cas washes them while Dean stands to his left drying and putting them away.

 

Halfway through, Cas takes a newly cleaned knife and casually reaches over and shoves it into Dean’s chest. Dean pauses, slowly lowering his head to stare at it. 

 

“Dude. Really?” 

 

Cas shrugs, pulling the blade back out and wiping the blood off. “Worth a shot.”

 

…

  
  


A knock sounds from the front door. The two men had gotten mostly done with the dishes, having only a few left to clean. They share a confused look before Cas wipes his hands off on Dean’s towel and silently goes to the door. 

 

Ever since the incident with the cops after Hannah’s funeral, Cas makes sure to always check who it is before giving any sign that he’s home. 

 

It’s a good thing he does, because on the other side of the door stands Agent Naomi herself.

 

Castiel’s eyes bulge in shock and he silently rushes back to Dean.  “Dean! It’s Naomi!” he whisper yells.

 

“But didn’t you change your name and everything?” 

 

“I don’t know how she found me, but she’s here!” Cas runs his hands through his hair, tugging at it with panic. The shock catching him off guard and keeping him from being able to think things through just yet. 

 

Dean holds him steady with a hand on each shoulder. He leans down slightly so that Cas has to look him in the eye. “It’s alright, Angel. Calm down. I got this.” 

 

“Don’t kill her! That’ll draw too much suspicion towards me.”

 

Dean rolls his eyes, letting Cas go and turning to the sink. “I wasn’t going to hurt her, dummy. Let me handle this.”

 

Naomi knocks again, more impatiently. “She can’t even see you!” Cas argues, biting his thumbnail. He hasn’t done such a nervous tick in years. It shows how much this is really getting to him. It’s honestly too early to deal with such a stressing situation. Can’t they just go back to enjoying each other’s company? Maybe exchange a few handjobs on the couch while making out and watching TV?

 

“Psh, I can let her see me if I want, I just don’t do it often unless it’s needed. There’s complications to doing it willy nilly. Sam gets on my case and makes me do paperwork.” 

 

Cas could strangle him right now. Too bad he’s already tried to before and not only did it end up being a newly discovered kink for Dean (that was a fun weekend), but it was about as effective as the knife was. Or the poison. Or the electrocution. Or the blunt force trauma, though he was able to get Dean to black out for a second with that one (and severely dented the metal pole he used to do it). But he digresses...

 

Dean wets his hands and wipes them on his bare chest in a way that makes it look sweaty (stop,  _ not  _ the time!), then messes up his hair a little more than it already is (shit). “I’ll get rid of the chick and you go hide.” 

 

Cas shakes the thoughts out of his head and obeys, grabbing anything that shows that he lives there (which isn’t very much since what little personal items and photos he has is still packed), then hides in the bedroom with it all, cracking the door enough to peek out of it and watch.

 

The agent has already knocked two more times, each time getting more insistent. Dean answers the door, not having to feign his annoyance. Naomi shows her surprise for a split moment before narrowing her eyes and trying to look past Dean. “Hello. Is there a man going by the name of Castiel here?”

 

“Who?”

 

“A Castiel Novak? Or he is also known as Castiel Kline, Castiel Milton and a few other variations.” 

 

“No clue who that is, lady. Ya got the wrong place.” 

 

“My name is not  _ lady _ ,” Naomi flashes her badge, “I am a federal agent and I’m looking for a man suspected to have killed over a hundred different people throughout the past few decades.” She pushes past Dean to get a better look at inside the apartment.   
  


“Excuse me, agent but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.” Naomi goes down the hall and comes across the kitchen first. She takes in the half done dishes with a look of suspicion. Shit, there’s two of everything. It’s obvious that someone else was --or still is-- there. 

 

“Is there anyone here with you?” 

 

There’s no use in denying it now, so Dean answers with, “Yeah, my boyfriend, now could you please leave?” Cas fights the urge to slap his forehead. Dean could’ve said  _ girlfriend _ and Naomi wouldn’t know any differently.

 

“And your boyfriend’s name?” 

 

Dean must say the first name that he can think of since no hesitation shows when he answers with, “Aaron, why?” Cas gets a small feeling of pride that his lover isn’t always a lost cause. “You said you were looking for some cashew fella. Well he’s not here, so leave.” Cashew? Uh,  _ rude. _ Cas will forgive him for now, but Dean will hear about this later.

 

Naomi makes her way past the kitchen and through the living room, slowly heading towards the bedroom. Cas hurriedly puts on clothes. The closet is too obvious and there’s no room under the bed, so he hides all his things below the ensuite bathroom sink. 

 

“And where is your boyfriend right now?”

 

“Well, for your information, you kinda showed up in the middle of something, so I’d have to guess that he’s not-so-patiently waiting for me to get back so we can continue.”

 

Cas can hear them coming closer, Naomi’s shoes clacking across the wood floor, venturing closer to the hall leading to the bedroom. Dean tries one last time to get her to stop in her quest to find Cas. “Okay, this is getting out of hand. Hey! You can’t just come barging into my house! Leave! This is harassment!”

 

Dean’s voice is dangerously closer. Cas heads for the window where he can jump over to the fire escape a window over. He’s halfway out before he notices that he’s left his wallet on the bedside table. Naomi is smart, she’ll definitely check it. He scrambles to grab it and get out.

 

Naomi bursts in right as he’s making his way out the window again. “Freeze, Novak!” she draws her gun to get him to stop. Cas flinches in surprise and loses his balance, falling the rest of the way out the window. 

  
  


Naomi shoots. 

  
  


Dean yells after him.

  
  


He falls four stories to the pavement bellow. The last thing he sees is Dean’s terrified face, then the blue sky before everything goes black.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mwahaha and a mighty cliffhanger to hold yinz over till next week ;)


	12. Chapter 12

Cas opens his eyes. 

 

He’s at the lake again, but this time he’s standing at the top of the waterfall. A warm hand takes his and he looks over. Dean’s smiling at him, freckles prominent in the sun. 

 

“C’mon angel, it ain’t  _ that  _ high of a jump!” he laughs. Cas doesn’t think he’s seen Dean ever look this carefree outside of the visions he’s been having. He looks down the waterfall, to the misty water at the bottom.

 

Dean squeezes his hand. “Nothin’ to worry about! It’s safe! Just jump!” 

 

… Jump. 

 

Jumping leads to falling.

 

Falling. 

 

Falling out of a window. 

 

Dean’s frightened face. 

 

… Oh... 

 

That’s right. He’s dead, isn’t he? 

 

If this is the afterlife, he isn’t complaining. Cas honestly thought he was going to hell, but this must be heaven if Dean is here. He grips Dean’s hand right back and takes the leap. 

 

He squeezes his eyes shut tight. When he hits the water, it’s like being hit by a freezing tital wave. Then there’s nothing. 

 

When he comes back to his senses, he feels cold hard concrete against his back. He opens his eyes. And there’s Dean, head framed by the blue sky and tears running down his face.

 

“Dean?”

 

“Cas-- how? You feel okay?” Dean asks as he helps Cas sit up.

 

“I… Didn’t I just die?” Castiel’s brain is foggy with a throbbing pain. “What happened?”

 

“Almost, but boss here, didn’t let me reap you. You should be dead right now,” a lady says. 

She stands a few feet behind Dean with shoulder length brunette hair and a somber expression. Cas stares at her as he tries to catch up with everything that’s happening.

 

“I couldn’t just let you take him, Tessa! I wasn’t-- _It_ _wasn’t his_ _time_.” Dean’s hold on Castiel’s forearm tightens and Tessa doesn’t look like she’s buying his reasoning.

 

Dean tries to wipe the tears off of his face real quick, but Cas stops him, moving Dean’s arms out of the way so he can hug him close. 

 

Dean melts into the embrace, arms holding him tight and hands gripping at his shirt. Cas can feel Dean’s breath exhale against his shoulder as he says, “I thought I lost you.”

 

“I guess this is pay back for you leaving me for so long.”

 

Dean can’t help but chuckle. He pulls back just enough to kiss Cas.

 

Tessa clears her throat. “I think there’s a more pressing need here than sucking on each other’s faces.”

 

They pull apart and Dean sighs in resignation. Cas gives a pause, “Wait, where’s Naomi?” 

 

“She ran when you fell, but more importantly, we need to figure out why you’re still alive. Even though I stopped Tess from reaping you, you should’ve still died and stayed dead.” 

 

“Then what should we do?” 

 

Dean helps Cas to his feet and decides that they should go see Sam. Tessa rolls her eyes and leaves, saying how  _ someone _ has to reap the dead if Death is too busy to do his  _ job. _

 

Dean takes Cas’s hand and transports them to the Hollywood sign. Cas makes a crack about Percy Jackson. Dean laughs, leading him towards the mouth of a cave. “At least we don’t need some sorta gold coin to go through.” 

 

“Or a special pearl to get back, I’m guessing.” 

 

Dean gives him finger guns as an answer. Cas rolls his eyes.

 

The tunnel is as creepy as ever, but on the other end is an open cavernous area. Half of the opening is taken up by a body of water. The water glows with tiny swimming butterflies, their wings glowing like fireflies. The walls sparkle with luminescent crystals, which is way prettier than skulls, if you ask Cas. 

 

Cas notices that the crystals don’t reflect in the water. In fact, nothing reflects, making it seem like an endless, moving, abys with sluggishly flying butterflies. 

 

Cas is enchanted by their beauty. He goes to reach into the water and touch one of the butterflies, but Dean grabs his hand and pulls him back, telling him to never touch the water. Ever.

 

They walk over to a lone small dock, where a gondola awaits. On closer inspection, Cas can see that the gondola is made of woven bone, silver, and crystal. 

 

Standing on the dock is a pale, thin old man in a black suit, leaning a cane with a pearly bone top. “Dean. Back so soon?” The old ferryman greats Dean in a monotone voice, as if he’s been expecting them and got bored waiting. 

 

Dean gives the man a friendly pat on the shoulder and climbs in, then helps Cas into the unsteady boat. 

 

Somehow, Cas actually expected the liquid (it can’t really be called water) to move more sluggish than water does. Thick like a syrup. Not anything like water.

 

Cas runs his hands against the smooth surface of the seat. It sends tingles up his arm, giving off the same familiar feeling as when he lays in Dean’s arms. He reaches over and links his hand with Dean’s.

 

The old ferryman steps into the boat, not disturbing it in the slightest. His cane stretches and grows until it’s long enough for the man to push them away from the dock with it. 

 

The butterflies dodge them like fish in a calm river. Cas can’t seem to take his eyes off of them. 

 

An itch scratches at the back of his mind, like he knows something, but can’t remember what. 

 

Dean notices Cas’s distraction and explains what the butterflies are. “They symbolize all the souls who have past and have been reincarnated. The souls may have left this realm and have started a new life, but they leave behind these. Their memories of lives past.” Cas looks to Dean in wonder. “This is why you can’t touch them. You’re human brain isn’t able to handle another lifetime worth of memories shot into it all at once.”

 

Cas looks back to the butterflies in a new light.

 

It doesn’t seem like the ride takes a long time, but they arrive before Cas even notices they’re coming up to a new dock. This dock is entirely different than the aging, wooden one they left from. This one is made up of a mighty looking sandstone. The cavern they’re in is smaller than the one they were in before, this one being lit by large torches surrounding the entire area. 

 

The doorway into another room is large, a good 25 feet high with an Egyptian esk statue of equal height on each side. Cas doesn’t know how, but he knows for a fact that the two statues depict Osiris and Isis. 

 

Cas has studied Egyptian mythology before and he wonders that if Sam and Dean are brothers, does that make Dean Set? He definitely doesn’t seem like the type. And does that mean Dean has a sister who married Sam? Ancient relations confuse Cas to no end. 

 

The two get off the boat and step onto the stone. Dean pauses to hand the old man a small piece of paper. “Hey, thanks again for the ride. Here’s a coupon to that great pizza place you like” 

 

“You didn’t have to, but it’s much appreciated.” Again, the man sounds like he couldn’t be bothered with caring.

 

The man leaves back the way they came and Cas turns to Dean with a raised eyebrow. “Really? You can just pay the Khamon off with a coupon for pizza?” 

 

Dean shrugs. “What can I say, he likes his greasy food.”

 

As soon as they cross the threshold, they’re suddenly transported to an expansive Egyptian themed throne room. There’s mighty columns on both sides of the room and torches line the top of the walls, casting long and moving shadows. It reminds Cas of  _ The Mummy _ and he gets the weird urge to watch it again. Dean had made him watch Brendan Fraser’s earlier movies like  _ George of the Jungle _ , the  _ Mummy _ series,  _ Journey to the Center of the Earth _ , and  _ Inkheart _ because he was “media illiterate” and Dean vowed to “shove all the classics down [Castiel’s] throat.” He had also made him watch almost all of Patrick Swayze and Harrison Ford’s films, but Cas digresses yet again. 

 

On the far end of the room stands a large raised desk covered in leather bound books. A man sits at the desk, head bent over an open tome, hair hanging in his face as he flicks through the pages at an incredible speed. A nervous middle aged man stands in front of the desk, cast into its flickering shadow. The man behind the desk then stamps the front of the book with a stamper from the row of them on the right hand side of the desk. The man hands the book down to a woman with long brunette hair and colorful winged tunic. The woman takes the book and silently leads the nervous man through a doorway. 

 

Before the man can take the next book in the stack to his left, Dean calls to him. “Hey Sammy, I’m back!”

 

Sam looks up. The man’s face triggers something in Cas, suddenly he’s seeing the man in different situations. Sam and Dean laughing while lounging on a large couch, the two of them playing video games and Dean losing. Sam holding back tears as he gets married to the silent woman. Sam showing him a baby, his eyes glistening with unshed tears and love. 

 

The bombardment of visions causes Cas to stumble back a few steps and blink them away rapidly. 

 

Dean grabs onto Castiel’s forearm. “Cas?” 

 

Cas shakes his head to clear it. “Sorry. It’s nothing.” 

 

“Bullshit. What was that?” 

 

“I don’t know, I just… get these visions. They’re nothing.”

 

Sam steps down from his desk and joins the two men. “Everything alright, Dean? Who’s this?”

 

Dean introduces Cas, but Cas isn’t paying attention. The silent woman is back.

 

Cas sees the woman smiling at her child. Her being surrounded by young children all wanting her attention. Her showing a group a women how to weave baskets out of straw...

 

Eileen. 

 

Her name is Eileen, also known as Isis. Cas starts to sign without thinking. “ _ Hello, Eileen. You seem well. _ ” 

 

Eileen stops in her tracks, along with Sam and Dean. The three of them stare at Cas in shock.

 

Cas’s face heats up. “I-I don’t know how I knew that…”

 

“Well that’s a new development,” Dean comments.

 

Sam wants answers, so Cas explains to them how he’s been having these strange visions and dreams for the past year and about his whole death-not-death incident.

 

Sam looks contemplative and Eileen gives him a comforting pat on his shoulder. “There’s something strange going on here and I don’t like it,” Sam mumbles behind his hand, “I’m going to get in contact with some of the other deities and see if they might know anything, but it might take time.”

 

Cas expected this, but that doesn’t mean he knows what to do. Dean is the one to offer something. 

“I just left, there’s no way I’m gonna come back here just to twiddle my thumbs. How about me and you go somewhere more interesting?”

 

“Where?” 

 

“It’s just a peaceful little place that I like to go to when I need a break. I haven’t been there in a while, but call it my secret vacation spot.”

 

Cas agrees to go and when Sam excuses himself to go research, they go their separate ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was honestly one of my favorite chapters. It really let my imagination flow.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean decides to teleport them to the area he mentioned since there isn’t another way to get there from where they were. And he’s just lazy. 

 

The sight that greets them makes Castiel’s heart stop and his blood turn cold.

 

There they stand, mere yards away from the lake he has been dreaming about for the past year. The trees from his visions sway in a gentle breeze, the sound of the rustling leaves blending in with the rush of the waterfall at the other end of the lake

 

Dean asks him what’s wrong, but Cas is frozen. He doesn’t know what to do. His body has seized up. 

 

How? How could this be possible? Cas has been seeing images and scenes of an actual place that he’s never been to until now.

 

There’s a rustle in the foliage behind them and Cas can finally get his body to move. When he turns, he’s met with a smiling redheaded woman bouncing up to him. 

 

“Cas! Dean! It’s been forever since you guys visited!” The woman has pointy ears poking out from beneath a flowery wreath and wears toga like clothes. 

 

Charlie. 

 

Her name’s Charlie. 

 

How did Cas know that? He remembers seeing her in his visions before, but never has he been told any names to accompany the faces he sees. 

 

Charlie wraps Cas in an excited hug and Dean gets a bit defensive over the stranger’s sudden closeness. At least, she should be a stranger. Cas can’t help the strong feeling of friendship he has about the woman. 

 

He waits a few seconds, her short curls tickling his chin, before wheezing out, “Charlie. Hug too tight, can’t breathe.” Dean sends Cas a confused look and Charlie lets go as if he was burning hot. 

 

“Oh, sorry. I’m just really happy to see you after you’d been gone for so long! Jeez what have you been doin’ anyway? It used to be you and Dean able to crush me,” she rambles.

 

Dean sputters nonsense, trying to wrap his head around what’s going on. 

 

“I’m sorry, I think there’s been some sort of mistake…” Cas tries to explain.

 

Castiel’s tone must snap Dean out of whatever confused stupor he was in, because he immediately barks out, “I’ll say! Who are you and how’d you know who we are?” He turns to Cas, “And Cas, how’d you know her name?” 

 

Before Cas can try and figure out how to answer, Charlie speaks back up. “Um… are you guys messin’ with me?” she looks back and forth between the two confused men, “wait, you’re serious? You two don’t remember me? I’m hurt, guys. I know it’s been a few decades, but that’s just  _ rude _ !”    
  


Cas can tell that Dean’s frustration is wearing his patience thin. “Look, lady, nymph, sprite, whatever you are, Angel has never been here before and I might not know how he knew your name, but I can guarantee that we’ve never met you before.” 

 

“Stop trying to screw with me, Dean. You two have been here a shit ton of times. You and you’re lil’ angel of fertility come hang out here all the time like you’re in a perpetual honeymoon stage!”

 

It hits Cas like a freight train. 

 

Fertility. 

 

Angel. 

 

Life bringing. 

 

The weight of wings between his shoulders. 

 

The feel of the lake water as he and Dean swim and splash each other. Charlie sitting on the rocks and laughing along with them. 

 

The two of them making love on the very shore behind them, their only company being the stars above. 

 

Sweet underwater kisses. 

 

Picnics in the grass by the tree line. 

 

Everything. 

 

He gives a sharp inhale and collapses at the onslaught of visions --no--  _ memories _ . 

 

Dean rushes to catch him and keep him somewhat upright, even though he’s already to his knees. Dean calls out Castiel’s name and Charlie rushes to help with a “Cas! What’s wrong!?” 

 

They sound like they’re underwater. His can’t bring himself to answer. He’s too overwhelmed, grabbing his head at the throbbing pain and gasping for air. 

 

Finally, the throbbing recedes and the barrage of memories slow to a stop.

 

He doesn’t remember closing his eyes, but when he opens them again, all he can see are Charlie and Dean’s worried expressions. “Are you okay? What was that? Was it those visions again?” 

 

Cas can only stare at Dean’s beautiful face. How could he have forgotten all the love he has for the man? Yes, he had fallen in love with him before he remembered everything, but how could he forget about the time they spent together before then? 

 

His memories still have large blank spots. They only go to a certain point before going fuzzy up until the start of his childhood memories. 

 

“I’m the angel of fertility and the bringing of life. Dean, I remember us being here before. What I’ve been experiencing are memories, not visions!” The revelation shoots Cas full of energy. He shoots to his feet and begins to pace. 

 

“You’re what? We did what?” Dean fumbles.

 

Charlie smiles. “So you  _ do  _ remember me?” 

 

Cas stops pacing. “Of course I remember you. A great friend like you is hard to forget!” Cas laughs, pulling Charlie into a swinging hug. 

 

“Hello? I’m right here. I’d like to get some answers!” 

 

Charlie rolls her eyes at Dean’s whining. 

 

Cas let’s Charlie go and grabs Dean by the shoulders instead. “Dean, I’m an angel. I don’t know what happened, but I think we somehow lost our memories and I was reborn human.”

 

“But… wouldn’t other people recognize you? Like Sam and Eileen?” Dean asks.

 

Charlie adds in, “maybe whatever happened affects other people too?” 

 

“That doesn’t explain why you remember, Charlie,” Cas reasoned.

 

“Calling you Angel all the time makes sense now, but we still don’t know anything about what’s going on.” 

 

Cas steps back, one hand running through his messy hair. “We’ll just have to wait and see if Sam is able to find something.”

 

“Yay! It’s been decades since we’ve been able to hang out! You could go swimming, or dive off the waterfall, or play tag in the forest or--” Charlie is interrupted by Cas’s growling stomach. 

 

Dean laughs. “How about a picnic?” 

 

Cas places a hand on his complaining stomach and agrees. “I guess it should be around lunch time by now…”

 

“How about I go grab us some grub. You two can wait here,” Dean offers. 

 

“Grab pizza! It’s been forever since I ate some good pizza!” Charlie is bouncing with excitement.  

 

”Alright, I’ll grab some from the best pizza place I know.” Dean vanishes with a little wave. 

 

Cas and Charlie sit down on one of the large flat rocks that overlook the lake, it being high enough for them to dangle their legs off with Castiel’s feet in the water and Charlie’s just short enough to hover above. Cas sets his shoes beside him, getting comfy as they wait for Dean’s return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so since I've finished this, I've put some time in on another (extremely) long Destiel fic. However, I've been working more on a Merlin (Merthur) Series. It's called Domestic AF and will be a series of connected one shots. If you're interested in more details, leave a comment below!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I didn’t get this posted yesterday! To make it up to you, this is THE longest chapter for the story! The outline alone was three pages long with no skipped lines and over 2k words!
> 
> There's also a few POV changes starting this chapter. Up till now it's been strictly Castiel's POV, but due to events in the story, it has to be changed to Dean's POV a few times.

It happens while Charlie is in the midst of telling Cas a crazy story about her adventures while the two ‘love birds’ were away. 

 

One second they’re peacefully waiting for Dean to come back with food, the next second they’re being attacked. 

 

A large man with a beard grabs Charlie and two men flock Cas. Charlie yells at the man to put her down or he’ll be having to pluck thorny roses out of his ass for the next month, but before she can do anything more than kick the man in his face, he tosses her far out in the lake.   
  


Cas calls out for her, but the two men hold him back with strength unmatching their bodies. A woman steps in front of him and scowls. Her face triggers some of his sluggish memories. 

 

The woman is Hester. The man who threw Charlie far into the lake is Hozai. The two men that hold him are Josiah and Nithael. But what are they doing  _ here _ ?

 

“Hester. What is the meaning of this? Have you lost your memories of me too?” 

 

Hester crosses her arms. “I haven’t forgotten you, Castiel.” 

 

“Then why such violence? I thought we were friends… Josiah, Nithael, please. I’m human now, you’re hurting me.” 

 

“Our friendship ended the moment you laid eyes on Death. You became lost to us. Defiled by the likes of him and his fellow deities of the afterlife!”   
  


The two other angels’ grips on Castiel tightens, Hester’s anger fuelling their own. Cas winces. There will definitely be bruises on his arms later.

 

“Cas!” Charlie yells at the angels as she tries to swim back to them, “let him go!” She’s almost to shore, the water shallow enough she can stand with it only to her waist.

 

Hester only glances at Charlie before they all vanish, leaving Charlie alone at the lake.

  
  
  


**xXXx DEAN xXXx**

  
  
  


Dean appears back at the lake with a picnic blanket draped over his shoulder and two fresh pizzas in his hands. The sight that greets him is unexpected. 

 

Charlie is standing ankle deep in the water, soaked to the bone, and bent over trying to catch her breath. 

 

Cas is nowhere to be seen. 

 

“What happened?” He asks, voice breaking the silence in the clearing. Charlie flinches, but looks relieved as soon as she realizes that it’s Dean.

 

“Oh thank the land, you’re back!” she runs up to him and wraps him in a tight hug, almost causing him to drop the pizza. 

 

“Whoa, hey, I almost dropped the grub! What’s wrong?” 

 

Charlie’s voice is muffled by Dean’s chest when she says, “These angels appeared and attacked us! They threw me in the lake and took Cas!”

 

“What!? Why!?” Dean can feel her shivering, drenched with cold water that’s slowly seeping into his own clothes. He pulls her away from him and holds her at arm's length so he can look her in the eyes. “Who did this?”

 

“I don’t know! They said they knew Cas and he seemed to know them, but he said they were friends and they said they weren’t and they threw me into the water! --And you  _ know  _ I can’t handle water!-- And they took him! Just--” Charlie flails her hands, “-- _ GONE! POOF! _ ” 

 

Dean wraps her in the picnic blanket to help her dry off as she continues to mumble “water… so much water…” 

 

“Yeah, I get it, the sprite who was drowned, now could you tell me about the people that took Cas?” Dean paused. How’d he know that? No. Not the time. One crisis at a time.

 

“I don’t know. I think I heard Cas call one of them Hester? And I think maybe the other two were  Jos-something and Nathaniel or something like that. I don’t know who the fourth person was. Some big scruffy dude? That’s all that I know. I was too busy trying to get to shore and having a damn panic attack!”

 

Dean pulls her into a hug, rubbing her back comfortingly. “It’s alright. You tried your best. Just stay here and recover, I’m gonna get Cas back.”

 

“I’ll be fine once I’m dry. You go get your Angel.” 

 

With a thumbs up from Charlie and a nod from Dean, he leaves.

 

…

 

He arrives inside a bar. Nobody pays him any mind despite having just appeared out of thin air. Understandable, seeing how they can do the same thing.  The bar he’s come to is called the Roadhouse. It’s a safe watering hole for creatures, deities and other people of mythical origins to all come together and shoot the wind.

 

But Dean isn’t here to drink.

 

He goes up to the far side of the bar where a man with a mullet and a muscle shirt sits with a computer. Multiple monitors take up the space for the seat to his right and left, effectively taking up most of that corner of the bar.

 

“Dean-o, my man! Haven’t seen you in a while!” the man greets. 

 

“Sup, Ash.” Dean and Ash do a complicated handshake and Dean sits down next to him.

 

“I need you to find someone for me. It’s kinda urgent.” 

 

Ash swivels on the bar stool and flicks his mullet over his shoulder. “Sure, dude. Name and species?” 

 

“Uh, Castiel, I don’t know his original last name. He’s human, but look for angel too.”

 

Ash starts typing at incredible speeds. “I’m not getting anything on Angel Radio or anything in the human range. Is there anything else I could use?” 

 

“Try, uh Hester, an angel. She should be with him, or at least know where he is.” 

 

Ash goes back to typing. “Hester. Hester-- aha! Found the lil tree topper! She’s right outside a rundown church in Ohio. Here’s the coordinates.” Ash reaches over and slaps Dean in the forehead in reminiscence of a V8 commercial. Dean rubs at it. There’s gotta be a different way for him to exchange the info. There’s no need to slap so hard, just a tap would be enough.

 

“I’ll still continue to look in on anything about a Castiel. So far, he doesn’t exist. Like, anywhere. I’ll look through the different species to see if I find anything, but I got nothing yet.” 

 

“Thanks, man. It means a lot.”

 

“Hey, I love a good mystery!” They laugh and Dean bids his goodbye with a slap on the back before leaving once again.

  
  
  


**xXXx CAS xXXx**

  
  
  


They arrive at a building that looks well past abandonment. As they cuff his hands behind his back, he takes in the broken and faded sign. It says that it used to be a mental health institution. The type that used to do “torture the gay away” and other sorts of menacing operations under the table. Cas had a fleeting thought that it was kinda fitting, in an ironic, coincidental way. 

 

Inside, the building looks in perfect shape. Completely different than the outside. Ruins run along the walls and ceiling. Cas tries to remember what they mean, but all he can manage is that they hide the fact that he’s there.

 

Josiah and Nithael take him to one of the padded rooms. 

 

Well… Cells are a more accurate description. 

 

They toss him in and he stumbles, falling face first and not able to catch himself due to his cuffed hands. He lifts his head and sees that a sigil is painted into the fabric of every square, this cell being the most sealed off room by far. 

 

That’s all he can recognize before the door is slammed shut behind him and he’s left in pitch black.

 

He can’t see anything, his open eyes no different from being closed. He curses not being able to see in the dark anymore. What happened to him? And why would people who were once his friends now want to do all this? 

 

He curls into a ball on the padded floor, wishing Dean was there.

  
  
  


**xXXx DEAN xXXx**

  
  
  


The angel Hester walks down the dirt path that leads to a small church. No one really comes to the church anymore and it’s taken care of by the old priest living in the back area of the building. The man’s date of death isn’t far now, but it’ll be peaceful and Dean can already tell where Sam is likely to send him.

 

Dean allows Hester to have her little meeting with the man, letting the priest have his weekly comfort. When Hester leaves, he takes action. 

 

She’s walking down the path again when he jumps her, transporting from behind the tree where he was hiding, over to right behind her. He immediately covers her mouth and whisks her off before she can make a sound and alert the kind old priest.

 

He takes her to the lake. Charlie is waiting for them when they appear, now dry and recovered from her waterlogged panic.

 

As soon as Charlie sees Hester, she yells, “That’s her! That’s the bitch!” and slaps the angel. “Tell us where you took Cas!”

 

Dean pulls Charlie out of reach, holding her back from attacking the angel even more before they get answers. “Whoa there, we want answers, not more work on my part!” 

 

Charlie took a few forced heavy breaths before slumping in Dean’s arms. “Fine. But I will gladly make her talk if I have to,” she sends a glare at Hester and the angel returns it with just as much varosity.

 

“I will never talk! You should be happy that we’re doing this! Death and Creation do not belong together! Your union with him is unnatural! It goes against the very law of nature!”

 

Charlie barks a laugh. “Apparently you people have never heard the saying ‘opposites attract’ or, I don’t know, Yin and Yang for example?”

 

Hester growls at the readhead. “Hold your tongue! A lowly sprite like you knows nothing of how things are meant to be!” Dean rolls his eyes. 

 

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this. Charlie go grab something that we can use as a gag. Duct tape doesn’t work, just grab a vine or a horse bit or something.”

 

“Happily,” Charlie sniffs, giving Hester one last mocking sneer and sticking her tongue out at the angel before walking into the forest, her figure disappearing between the trees.

 

Dean crouches down in front of Hester, still towering over her intimidatingly, but low enough to easily meet her eyes. “Look. I don’t give one fuck about what you and your groupies think about me and Cas, but you’ve taken it too far and I’m done with your shit. Tell me where you’ve taken him and I’ll let you off with a warning.”

 

Hester spits in his face. “Never. You’ll both get what’s coming to you soon.”

 

He wipes off his face with his sleeve in disgust. “One, that was gross, don’t do it again if you want to keep all your body parts. Two, I can already tell that you’re not the leader here, so just tell me whose dishing out the orders and we can be done here. You can go on your merry way without any more hassle.”

 

Hester growls at him and goes to say something, but it’s cut off with a scream. Her eyes, nose, and mouth glow a bright white and she slumps dead on the sand. 

 

“That’s enough of that.”

 

Dean looks up in surprise at the newcomer. He’s a scrawny little man who looks more like a frazzled librarian than someone who can kill an angel. Dean meets the man’s eyes and they tell a whole different story. The man’s eyes are cold, condescending, calculating, conceited, and a whole slew of other menasing ‘c’ words. Enough to even set Dean on edge. He already hates this dude.

 

“Hello, Death. You wanted to talk?” the man greets as if he didn’t just kill someone.

 

“Where’s Cas? What’d you do with him?” Dean is instantly on his feet and ready for a fight.

 

The man gives Dean an innocent smile, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. Wow does Dean already hate his guts.

 

“Now now, Death. I haven’t harmed Castiel yet. I just wanted to talk to you for a second.”

 

“Yet? What the hell are you going to do to Cas!?” 

 

“Calm down. Nothing for you to worry your empty little head over. I came to tell you to stop looking for Castiel. You are both better off without each other. You two don’t belong associating so closely. I’m doing the universe a favor.” 

 

“Quit it with the God complex! I don’t give a shit what you’re trying to do! You have no right to decide who can love who! Let Cas go!”

 

The other man’s fake smile vanishes into an irritated frown. “I wasn't finished. Don’t interrupt me.” He pauses, testing to see if Dean will butt in again. When he doesn’t, the man continues. 

 

“I’m being kind enough to come and tell you ahead of time to stop trying to find Castiel. If you continue to try and intervene, I will remove all of Castiel’s memories of you again and make sure that this time, he never remembers. Keep in mind, that if I do this, it will leave him nothing more than an empty husk. A brain dead body that only knows how to eat, sleep, and breathe.”

 

Dean’s blood runs cold and his fists clench so tight that his nails almost puncture his skin. 

 

“You better watch it, you son of a bitch. Do you really think it’s wise to threaten me?” Dean spits through gritted teeth. How dare this little man make such threats? Does he know who he’s talking to? If he even lays a single finger on Cas, Dean will slowly and painfully  _ skin him alive _ . Repeatedly. For the rest of time.

 

“I know exactly what I’m doing. Keep in mind that this isn’t the first time I have removed his memories and everyone else’s that knew him. Including your precious brother and his darling wife and child.” 

 

“Don’t you touch them!” 

 

“Oh I won’t. Not as long as you keep to yourself and not intervene anymore. Forget about Castiel, he’s better off without your corruption.”

 

And with that, the man is gone.

 

Dean growls and kicks the sand. Charlie comes out of the woods holding what looks like a very uncomfortable, wooden horse bit. She stops when she sees Dean fuming and Hester laying on the ground dead. 

 

“Jeez Dean, I thought you said  _ not  _ to hurt her!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOooo Things are heating up as we come to a close!


	15. Chapter 15

Cas has no clue how long it’s been since he was taken. The pitch black messing with his internal clock and not being given meals is making it impossible to tell what time it is. All he knows is that its been at least a day (or more if his stomach has a say in anything).

 

Cas could really go for a burger right about now. A nice juicy one that Dean cooked on the grill...

 

As if summoned by his musings of hunger, the door to his cell opens. Even though he’s cast in the shadow of whoever opened the door, he still has to press his face into the cushioned floor in order to block the light that threatens to blind him.

 

Strong hands grip him and force him to kneel facing the doorway. He blinks rapidly trying to get his eyes to adjust.

 

“Castiel.” Cas doesn’t need to see the figure in the doorway to know exactly who it is. None other than Agent Naomi herself. 

 

“Naomi. Are you the one in charge here? Are you the one that turned my own friends against me?” Naomi gives an irritated huff, a sneer maring her normally stoic features. 

 

“I wish I could say it was me, but I have to admit that you’re wrong. After a large amount of consideration, I have joined with Metatron, who has taken the lead on this.”

 

Now that Cas has gotten most of his memories back, he can understand why Naomi spits out the other angel’s name like it’s some sort of poison. They have always been rivals and hated even being on the same plane of existence as the other. It’s understandable that she would loathe having to work with Metatron. 

 

On the other hand, Cas can’t remember much about Metatron himself. He remembers the feeling of unease he would get whenever he had to speak with the scribe, but little to nothing about the angel’s appearance or mannerisms.

 

“Do you really hate my relationship with Dean so much that you’ll go as far as teaming up with Metatron in order to seperate us?”

 

“It had to be done, Castiel. I only wish you would see the error of your ways and banish Death from your life before it’s too late.”

 

Cas highly doubts that he would ever do such a thing. At least of his own free will. 

 

Naomi chooses to end the conversation there, giving the two men holding Cas a look before turning to walk away. The men follow, roughly pulling Cas to his feet and dragging him down the corridor.

 

Cas racks his brain for something to do. He has to find a way to escape, but it’s impossible to manage it on his own. There’s no way he would make it far with so many angels and other creatures after him. Cas looks around for any ideas and sees that the sigils on the walls are made from blood.

 

He doesn’t remember much about sigils, but he’s still able to recognise that they’re all connected. That they are made as a sort of net and if one was taken out, it would make the a hole in the shield protecting the building. Making up his mind, he springs into action.

 

“So, do you guys really hate me that much, or are you following orders because you’re afraid of a little scribe. Scared of a glorified  _ librarian _ .”

 

From what Cas can tell, the guard holding his right arm has a short temper. His judgement is proven right yet again when the man grunts in anger and punches him. He slams down onto the concrete floor. Cas makes sure to fall in just a way that causes him to skin his elbow. 

 

Naomi notices the commotion and yells at the man. Cas sits up from his position on the floor, using his body to hide his elbow from view. 

 

Luckily, it’s bleeding a perfect amount to make a large enough mark on a lower sigil and break it, but not too much as to draw attention to his injury.

 

Naomi orders the two men to pick Cas back up and they continue on their way.

  
  
  


**xXXx DEAN xXXx**

  
  
  


Dean has been sitting at the Roadhouse bar, his leg jumping up and down so fast it might as well be vibrating.

 

“Dean, I know things aren’t looking good, but could you knock that off! You’re shaking my damn chair!” Charlie complains to Dean’s left. Ash just snorts from his seat on Dean’s right. 

 

Ash has been searching nonstop for something  _ \--anything--  _ that could possibly help them find Cas.

 

Dean’s on edge, seven whiskeys in, and wishing he had the ability to get drunk.

 

Ash’s one computer makes a ping sound and Dean almost jumps clear out of his skin.

 

“What is it? Is it Cas? Did you find him?” Ash ignores Dean’s rapid fire questions, instead, he starts to click and type just as fast as Dean’s leg was shaking mere moments ago.

 

“I found him. The building’s old and was abandoned, but there’s been a lot of activity lately.” 

 

“Yeah yeah, nice to know.  _ Where is it _ ??” Dean insists. Ash rolls his eyes.

 

“It still has some wards up, so you won’t be able to get in until they’re taken down. I can’t tell how many people are in there and what kind of creatures they are. You can’t just barge in there.”

 

“ _ Watch _ me.” Dean pushes Ash out of the way so he can read the computer screen. “C’mon Charlie, I’ll need your help.” He doesn't’ wait for her to reply, only pausing long enough for her to stand before he whisks her away.

 

They appear in front of the building that houses Cas. Charlie lets out a low whistle. “That’s a lot of wards.” 

 

“Maybe. But I don’t see one there for you. Be a dear and take them down for me?” 

 

“As long as you never call me that again.” 

 

Dean laughs and Charlie sneaks her way into the building.

  
  
  


**xXXx CAS xXXx**

  
  
  


Naomi leads Cas to a room on the top most floor and the opposite end of the building from where Castiel’s cell was located. She opens the double doors in a --unnecessarily-- dramatic manner. 

 

The room is average in size. Tables, beds, and what looks like dentist chairs occupy most of the space. This must’ve been where they operated on people. 

 

Metatron stands next to one of the chairs, a table covered in different equipment rolled over to stand next to him. “Hello, Castiel. It’s been a while.” 

“Metatron. I’ve been told that you’re to thank for all this.” Cas keeps his tone even and empty of emotion. Metatron smiles that bone-chilling smile of his. 

 

“Don’t be thankful just yet, Castiel. We still have some work to do. When we’re done removing all of those pesky connections you have to Death, then you can thank me.”

 

“And how are you going to do that?” 

 

“Now now, Castiel. If you’re trying to get me to go on a villain’s monologue, you are out of luck. I’m not the villain here, Death is. And he always will be.”

 

“Dean is a better person than you will ever be!” After Cas’s out burst, an alarm starts to go off and Nithael bursts through the doors. 

   

“Death has found us! He’s taken down the barrier and is going on a rampage!”

 

Metatron growls in frustration. “I guess he didn’t heed my warning! Tie Castiel down! If he thinks I won’t go through with my word, he is sorely mistaken!” Cas struggles to get out of the two angels’ tight grips, but he’s no match with his mere human abilities.

 

They uncuff him in order to force Cas into the chair and strap him down, thick leather restraints wrapping around his ankles and wrists and across his chest and hips. Metatron binds Cas’s head himself, taking personal glee in the action and making it too tight.

 

The alarm is shut off and allows for the sound of fighting to drift into the room. 

 

Metatron selects a few long and thin rods from his table of tools. “Don’t just stand there! Guard the door! Naomi, go check on the situation,” Metatron barks and Cas flinches as the angel’s flailing hand almost makes a rod stab him in the eye.

 

Naomi disappears with the sound of flapping wings. When she’s gone, Metatron turns back to Cas and uses his angel strength to drill the rod into Castiel’s head through his right temple. Cas screams in pain. 

 

Once the rod is in a few inches, Metatron moves to the other side of the chair so he can place a second one just above Castiel’s black eye that he got from the guard. 

 

His voice breaks with the power of his scream. 

 

Metatron reaches for another rod, this one a bit thicker and with a dial on the end. Cas whimpers at the sight. 

 

Tears fall freely down Castiel’s face. He yearns to pass out and not have to deal with the pain.

 

Naomi reappears and Metatron pauses to listen to her report. “Death has taken out most of the first two floors. He found where we were keeping Castiel and it angered him even more. He’ll be here any moment.” 

 

As if on cue, a few angels scream from down the hall... 

 

Then the two outside the door...

 

Then the doors are burst open with a loud crash...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh noes~ Next chapter is gonna be the last one!!!


	16. Ends Are Just New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is my jolly gift to you all! Hope everyone had nice holidays! 
> 
> (Planned to post this Christmas, but some family health things came up so I've been busy)
> 
> I'm also posting a short winter holidays story under the name "Slippery Slopes" Go ahead and check it out if you're interested!

Everything stands frozen for a moment. 

 

Naomi vanishes. 

 

Metatron stands above Cas with his hand still outstretched to place the third rod into Castiel’s third eye. Dean stands in the doorway, huffing more from rage than exertion, and sans his normal leather jacket. 

 

Tears fall from Castiel’s eyes both in pain and in relief. He can’t turn his head to look, but he can see Dean from the edge of his vision. Just trying to strain his eyes in Dean’s direction shoots searing pains through his head and down his body.

 

Dean is on Metatron so fast, the angel doesn’t see him move. In the blink of an eye, Metatron is strung up against the wall by angel blades Dean took from the guards.   
  


Dean leaves him hanging there, fruitlessly tugging at the blades.   
  


He turns back to Cas and quickly uses his small scythe to get rid of Castiel’s bindings. He helps him sit up and takes a look at the rods in his head. “I have to take these out, but it’s going to hurt,” he hands cas a piece of the leather strap that held down one of his arms, “bite down on this. You can hold onto me if you need to.”   
  


Once Cas is ready, Dean holds the man’s head in place with one hand and uses his other hand to gently remove the two rods.

 

He throws the rods to the side and catches Cas as he slumps into unconsciousness.

 

“Shhh, it’s okay now, Angel. I got you. I’m here.” Dean gingerly picks Cas up bridal style, hugging his angel to his chest.

 

Charlie runs into the room looking frantic and ready for a fight. “Charlie, call Ash and tell him to send Ellen and Jo to pick up this piece of shit.” Dean jerks his head toward the struggling Metatron. 

 

Charlie gives him a two fingered salute and kicks metatron in the gut just ‘cause she can. With that settled, Dean leaves.

 

…

 

Dean goes to the glowing crystal cavern from before. 

 

The Khamon raises a brow at Castiel’s injuries, but doesn’t say anything. “Sam’s as soon as you can, please.” Dean grunts, already getting into the gondola.

 

In the matter of moments, they’re flowing down the river ten times quicker than they had before. 

 

But in Dean’s eyes, it still isn’t fast enough.

 

He can feel each breath Cas takes brushing his throat while the ex-angel’s head rests on his shoulder.

 

Once they make it to Sam’s area, Dean rushes in, only tossing a quick thank you over his shoulder to the pale khamon. He calls out for Sammy’s help. Sam comes in first, closely followed by Eileen. They take one look at the two men and run to their side.

 

Dean gently lays Cas down so Eileen can take care of his injuries. At this point, Cas is completely out of it, blood steadily trickling out of his wounds. Eileen places her hands over the wounds and they start glowing a light green color. 

 

The blood stops and the holes close up, but it isn’t able to be completely healed. There’s still a thin scab and a chance of reopening, so Sam rips strips from his toga and helps his wife wrap Cas’s head. Once they’re done, Dean pulls Cas back to him to rest against his chest and the angel promptly falls asleep. 

  
  
  


**xXXx CAS xXXx**

  
  
  


When he comes to, the first thing he notices is that whatever he’s laying on is really comfortable. 

 

Then he notices that someone put his pie blanket over him. He gave a pause, trying to remember if his couch was ever this comfortable. No, this is definitely not his couch.

 

That’s when he notices that there’s heated voices coming from a room adjacent to the one he’s in. It seems like some sort of study, walls covered by book shelves over flowing with old tomes, a cluttered desk, and a fireplace with a cluttered and dusty mantle.

 

Cas sits up slowly, feeling like a tribe decided to host a drum festival in his head. The voices keep getting rowdier as his senses come back to him and it’s  _ really  _ not helping his head. 

 

Gingerly, he makes his way around the stacks of books on the floor and to the double sliding doors where the voices are emanating from. 

 

From what Cas can tell, there’s two louder voices and two quiet ones. The two loud ones must be in an argument while the other two are only chiming in or trying to calm them down. Either way, Cas won’t know what’s really going on until he opens the door.

 

He slides it open, bracing for the oncoming noise and resulting pain in his head. 

 

The doors lead into a small and somewhat dilapidated kitchen. A gruff looking older gentleman in a trucker cap stands leaning against the counter while a couple are sitting hand-in-hand at the little table to his left. The room goes silent (thank the gods) as everyone turns to him.

 

Cas identifies the couple instantly. The woman is Eileen in a modern outfit of jeans and a tee shirt and the man is Sam in an outfit reminiscent of a lumberjack. 

 

Two men stand in front of him; a short one in golden and cream colored toga, who stares at Cas with wide eyes, and a tall one in black with his back to him. The man in black turns and a wave of affection crashes over Cas when he instantly recognizes Dean. 

 

A smile pulls at Cas’s lips despite the almost unbearable pain in his head.

 

“Cas! You’re awake! Here, sit down. You shouldn’t be moving around just yet.” Dean ushers him into a seat across from Sam and Eileen.

 

As soon as he sits down, the man in gold sets a plate stacked high with chocolate chip pancakes, smothered in syrup, whipped cream, and a handful of cut strawberries. 

 

“Here, you haven’t eaten in a while.

 

Cas doesn’t question it. His stomach is too insistent for him to do anything other than grab a fork and dig in. He looks up at the short man and stares for a few moments before things finally click.

 

“Gabriel. What are you doing here? Does this mean you remember me now?” 

 

“Well, Cassie, you’ve been out for a few days now. While you were out, Samsquatch, lover boy, and the surly trucker over there were able to get Metatron to spill his guts on how to fix the whole memory thing. He’s down in the basement panic room at the moment.” Bobby lets out an indigent huff and Sam makes a sound of disapproval over the nicknames.

“So everyone remembers me now? What about my own memories?” Cas asks, ignoring the disgruntled huffs. Gabriel has that way with everyone.

 

“They should slowly return to you over the next few days,” Sam reassures him.

 

Dean sits down next to Cas and puts a hand on his thigh, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Enough about that, how are you feeling?”

 

“My brain feels like it’s trying to jackhammer it’s way out of my skull, but the pancakes are at least helping my stomach. Although I could do for a little less sugar.” 

 

“Everybody's a critic,” Gabe grumbles in the background.

 

“Then after you’re done, you should go rest.” 

 

“Dean, I’ve been asleep for the past few  _ days _ . I don’t want to just lay around anymore.” 

 

“Fine. I guess we could go visit the lake instead. Charlie will want to see you anyways.” 

 

After Cas eats and changes into clothes that Dean had brought from their apartment (cause Cas has been wearing the same clothes all this time and that’s ew), they’re ready to go to the lake. 

 

Gabe stops them before they can go. “I didn’t want to do this when you were out cause I didn’t know if there would be problems, but now that you’re awake, I can do it.” Gabe reaches up and cups Cas’s face in both his hands. 

 

There’s a golden glow and a wave of warmth crashes through Castiel’s body, touching every little nook of his being. An intense itch spreads across his shoulder blades and there’s suddenly the sound of ruffling feathers and a new --yet familiar-- weight on his back. Dean gawks at him.

 

“Gabriel, did you just?” 

 

“You bet your sweet ass I did. It’s no fun, you being all human and fragile and stuff. So I gave you back your grace. I’m sure dad won’t mind.” 

 

Cas hugs his brother in thanks. They share loving smiles and Cas turns back to Dean. He wraps one wing around the blond’s shoulders. “Ready?” 

 

“Damn did I miss those,” is all Dean says before pulling Cas in close to kiss him. 

  
  


They vanish from sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I kinda just wrapped the ending in a neat lil bow, but I just can’t leave my babies sad <3


	17. Behind the scenes special <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special BTS for the New Year! I wrote this as NOT A MANDATORY READ AND ISN’T A PART OF THE STORY only cause I wanted to share and in case yinz were curious <3 Just for a laugh XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll have y’all know that after everything was done, the google doc was 39,034 words long including this chapter. That is the most I’ve ever written for a fanfic, outline and all… I’m so proud of me, but at the same time, why the hell can’t I do this for my original works too???

**Castiel’s Spouses:**

  * Uriel: “jumped” off the top of his office building. It was later found that he was stealing from the company.
  * Balthazar: “Went missing” after leaving his job at the bar (he was a bartender)
  * Daphne: Was killed during a break in at their house (or so the case file says)
  * Meg: mugged/altercation with a former acquaintance (Crowley)
    * Cas didn’t kill her. He actually felt bad after this one cause she had potential to join him in his secret hobby
  * April: “Overdosed on medication”
  * Hannah: “had a fall” down the stairs and hit her head
  * Kelly: “Suicide” in the tub [[self reminder: leave a note that Jack is left out completely due to not being able to fit him into the plot]]



(in Chapter 2, the list of pictures of his spouses go in the same order. Aka this is the answer to the lil game!)

 

Idk if anyone noticed, but in my SPN writings, whenever I do a possessive for Cas, I spell it out as “Castiel’s” cause Idk if it should be “Cas’s” or “Cas’” or something (I’ve seen both used before) and instead of confusing myself or getting it wrong or using both willy nilly, I just spell it out.

 

**Misc. Notes that never really made it into the story:**

 

  * **Cas was raised in London, but moved to America after Meg’s death**



 

  * Cas has also killed his grandmother (first kill) and a somewhat distant cousin that was in town for a reunion
    * Naomi figures this out later on, right before she finds him after Kelly’s death. 
    * (this ultimately never made it into the story cause there wasn’t really any need for it and it didn’t fit into a Cas POV story :/)
  * “He follows the letter of the law alright. He just rearranges the letters to spell ‘fuck you’.“ --Officer chasing after Cas aka Naomi (sadly didn’t make it into the story :’( It just never fit and didn’t go into a Cas POV story either)
  * What I had down as the background of their memory loss:
    * Castiel used to be the angel of fertility/life bringing/etc. And he and Dean fell in love. However, some people didn’t approve due to Dean and Cas’ standings. They considered it blasphemy and against the law of nature, so Metatron took it upon himself to remove their memories of each other and banish Castiel to the life of a mortal (Cas still grew up from infancy, like when Anna fell)
      * He kills because subconsciously he knows it leads to seeing Dean
  * The angels who ambush Charlie and Cas are: Hozai, Hester, Josiah, and Nithael
    * Hozai: Unknown motives
    * Hester: Believes that Dean and the other deities that associate with Dean corrupted Cas. (cause we all know THAT scene…)
    * Josiah: Unknown motives
    * Nithael ** _:_** the angel of rejuvenation and eternal youth. AKA he no approve of Destiel (this guy was actually the angel that was blown up by Casifer in the park)



 

**My personal Chapter titles (since I didn’t title any of the chapters):**

  * CHAPTER 1: GOING TO BE SHORT AND SWEET, AN ATTENTION GETTER TO DRAW PEOPLE IN.
  * CHAPTER 2: MIGHT KEEP THESE CHAPTERS RATHER SHORT (AT LEAST AT THE BEGINNING)
  * CHAPTER 3: GONNA BE MORE OF A TRANSITIONAL OR AN EXAMPLE OF HOW THEY ARE TOGETHER.
  * CHAPTER 4: THEIR FIRST MEETING.
  * CHAPTER 5: DOMESTICITY AND GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER.
  * CHAPTER 6: MORE INTERACTION CAUSE THIS BITCH GOTTA GROW NATURALLY
  * CHAPTER 7: CAS MOVING & DEAN NOT SHOWING UP FOR A MONTH
  * CHAPTER 8: CAS MEETS KELLY, DEAN DOESN’T SHOW UP FOR 5 MONTHS
  * CHAPTER 9: 7 MONTHS PAST. CAS MURDERS KELLY AFTER MARRIED 3 MONTHS
  * CHAPTER 10: IT’S BEEN A WEEK SINCE KELLY AND DEAN IS BACK
  * CHAPTER 11: BREAKFAST/DISHES SCENE & CAS’S DEATH
  * CHAPTER 12: THEY GO TO SAM & CAS HAS CRAZY “mOiR ViZiOnS!?” 
    * (the vizions is a reference to the “supernatural season __ in __ minutes” from Crystal Jay on youtube, cause she’s hilarious and I love how she says certain things, ie mOiR ViZiOnS and aNGsT XD)
  * CHAPTER 13: MEET CHARLIE, GET SOME DAMN ANSWERS
  * CHAPTER 14: AMBUSH/CAS’S CAPTURE, METATRONS THREAT
  * CHAPTER 15: CAS’S ESCAPE ATTEMPT, DEAN’S RAMPAGE 
    * (#pictures cancer ridden Archer every time. #We need an Archer AU. I vote for Archer as Dean, Cas as Lana, Bobby as Mrs. Sterling, Charlie as a competent Crystal, Donna as Pam, Balthazar as Ray, Sam as Cyril but more badass, Gabe as Krieger, and so on… Now I wanna watch Archer...)
  * CHAPTER 16: CAS IS RESCUED, METATRON’S IMPRISONED, REUNION OF LOVE



 

**A lil random tid bit:** My favorite part of this verse is the river with the butterflies and the caves. I picture Cas spending a lot of time at the river when he’s an angel. Before he was turned human, he used to venture out into the flow and all the butterflies would flutter and gather around him. They loved his company and he was the only one that could handle when they touched him. In my mind, he learned how to control the flow of memories and spent time with the butterflies to honor the lives he’d started and Dean ended. He doesn’t handle reincarnation, but he’s good friends with the person who does.

 

**Random and funny quotes from the outline: (some are in the story but I just can’t help but laugh)**

  * Sassy Cassie is sassy
  * a bit more interrogation between Sass Master and Suspicious Detective
  * A wild Dean appears
  * #Bitchfaceddetective
  * TIME SKIPPY
  * #overdoses
  * YOU GUESSED IT, ANOTHER TIME SKIPPARUNI TO MORNING
  * but then it turns out she’s unhinged, so he offs her. 
  * *nods in smug agreement.*
  * “Whoa, turn off the caps lock...”
  * (when your scrolling through something and you see)  that up. My ass (and laugh just cause you got a dirty mind)
  * courtesy of Dean’s guilty conscious
  * “Oh shut up and kiss me.”
  * (the pain of getting the song stuck in my head every time I came across)  humming to the tune of Renegade by the Styx
  * (Also laughing when randomly coming across) Dean’s pulse point. “Sounds delicious.” (next line) Yes, it was incredibly delicious. And not only because they ate while almost in each other’s lap (XD)
  * *whisper yelling*
  * “looking for some cashew fella” (gets me every time XD)
  * “mOiR ViZiOnS!?” (Cause I love Crystal Joy’s YouTube videos)
  * “there’s a more pressing need here than sucking each other’s faces.” (ah Tessa)
  * “What can I say, he likes his greasy food.” (Couldn’t resist the real Death getting a cameo)
  * Cas expected this, but that doesn’t mean he knows what to do. (Big Mood)
  * ~light bulb~ (Always hear it in Gru's voice in my head...)
  * Cas can only stare at Dean’s beautiful face. (I swear the scripts say this for every scene Dean and Cas are in together)
  * DotDotDot
  * THE END, FUCKING FINALLY (I put this at the end cause I was so glad that I was finished outlining and could finish writing the last little bit)



 

When I first created the Google Doc for this (in November 2017! Woah), I shared it with my friend so that she could give some feedback… she decided to write her own stuff instead cause she’s a lil shit and really funny… I kept the crack she wrote way at the bottom of the document after a page break so no one would ever see it…. I’ve decided to share cause it always makes me laugh and made me feel better when I wasn't feeling in a writing mood. 

Here it is:

  * _Castiel thrEW Dean onto his bed and started to take off his clothes,’I’ve been a really bad boy Cas..I must be punished..”_
  * _Dean whimpered as Cas stroked his rock-hard sausage,”P-Please baby...Just gIVEITMETHEDICK’_
  * _“GIVEMETHEDICKDADDDDDDYYYYYY”  
MY ASSHOLE IS TURNING INTO A pUSSSSSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY_
  * _Cas NO! GET OUT OF MY ASSSSSSSS  
N E V E R *HE POUNDS DEAN HARDER IN THE ASS WHILE YELLING “THIS IS SPARTAAAAA”*_
  * _This is why im not allowed to write fanfiction anymore_
  * _EAT MY ASS DEAN, nO cAs NOT IN FRONT OF S A M_
  * _Sam in the chair next to Dean’s,”can you guys nOt talking about eating ass while im rIGHTHERETHANKS”_



 

Not in front of his salad! Lololol I just… she read this out loud to me and I lost the ability to can… There was also a shorter ErinxLevi one, but it’s not as funny when you’re just reading it compared to the voices and emphasizing that she does… Idk, thought this might give ya a laugh (or a cringy laugh, but either way)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the end! I can’t believe it’s finally finished!! Now that this is done, I’ll be working on other fics that I’ve already been outlining. (spoiler: one is a Kitty!Cas and a good number more) I might also post some Merlin and/or Doctor Who stuff, if your interested (cause Merlin has officially gotten ranked up to almost Supernatural level ~~obsession~~ love and I love Merlin and Doctor Who crossovers). And maybe, if I get the inspiration, I might even post some more SPN one shots!

**Author's Note:**

> There ya have it. The first installment of Death’s Dearest! I’ll be posting a chapter roughly every Thursday, so stay tuned. Please comment, I look forward to reading your thoughts on where you think this might go!


End file.
